Surprise! Or not

It’s happened again: Another non-surprise is treated as, well, some kind of surprise.

The latest shocker? Singer Ricky Martin is gay.

To anyone who knew a smattering about pop culture, this is not news. Even before Ricky came out, the rumors had been out there for years.

It was just like the questions that surrounded other gay stars before they decided to be straightforward about not being straight.

There’s been an epidemic of that lately – not stars coming out but bombshells that turn out to be firecrackers.

Like the report the other day that Michael Jackson’s home was chock-full of skin-lightener creams.

Duh. Did anyone actually think his ghost-like complexion was natural?

Even though M.J. periodically denied those questions before died, anyone with an I.Q. larger than his shoe size knew he was lying.

Ditto for slugger Mark McGwire’s recent confession that he used steroids. Double-duh. Who thought he naturally had arms the size of legs?

In case you’re a bit naïve, I’d like to go ahead and spill the beans on some other things you may have been wondering about:

-- Republicans really do want President Obama to fail.

-- President Obama really didn’t want to work with the GOP on health care.

-- Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington was lying when he said he only did coke once after failing a drug test last year.

-- Simon Cowell isn’t really as means as he seems on “Idol.” It’s an act designed to pump up ratings. (Paula Abdul, unfortunately, was as ditzy as she appeared.)

-- When an actor or pro athlete says, “It isn’t about the money,” it’s about the money.

... That’s all for now; I don’t want to give anyone more than he can digest at one time.

Besides, Sunday is fast approaching, and there’s something you really need to know about the Easter Bunny.