tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-380384612024-03-12T19:26:33.338-05:00Back On EarthThomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.comBlogger650125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-72264565173366266872010-05-14T21:05:00.001-05:002010-05-14T21:07:33.153-05:00Tar balls: good or bad?As the oil spill in the Gulf gets worse, it gets crazier too.The latest twist is reports of 8-inch (!) tar balls on a Louisiana beach.Nearby, a biologist found about “25 nickel-sized tar balls per square foot.”Wow; that’s a lot of crude.But when it balls up, at least it’s easier to clean up.Sort of, of course. It’s still incredibly icky and gooey, but at least it’s not floating in the Gulf or Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-62084712176255112312010-05-13T15:17:00.003-05:002010-05-13T16:11:28.679-05:00Tossing Taylor?Should Lawrence Taylor be kicked out of the NFL Hall of Fame?If he’s convicted of having sex with a 16-year-old prostitute, I say not only yes, but hell yes.The problem, unfortunately, is that NFL rules don’t allow that.As it stands now, you make the Hall based on your play. What you do off the field or after you retire doesn’t matter.It should.I know this opens a huge can of worms for any kind Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-41546089134491963632010-05-12T16:28:00.003-05:002010-05-12T16:34:04.265-05:00Coddling CushingIf fans were hoping that Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing would lose a coveted award because he was exposed as a drug cheat, they got blindsided.Incredibly, he won a second vote for NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year.Granted, it was by a smaller margin – 18-13 over Buffalo safety Jairus Byrd. But as they say in sports, a win’s a win.Last year, Cushing beat Byrd 39-6.So the fact that he was Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-3619920254736156702010-05-11T16:24:00.004-05:002010-05-11T16:42:58.246-05:00A doggone shameOnce again, the depravity of the criminal mind astounds us ordinary folk.Up in Edina, Minn., some twisted souls are even … stealing the dog poop bags thoughtfully provided by the city.Sad but true. And as a result of this brazen thievery, the city will no longer be able to supply the bags for free to hard-working residents.It did seem too good to last. I guess now Edina-ites will have to use an Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-67382469534864387052010-05-10T15:26:00.003-05:002010-05-10T15:40:40.204-05:00Solving the road-kill riddleFinally, one innovative jail has figured out a way to save taxpayers a few bucks and kill two birds with one stone. (Actually three.)The idea? Have inmates pick up road-kill.This is the best ideas in corrections to come along since orange jumpsuits.Think of the many benefits:1) Instead of using highly paid highway workers to fritter away their time on carcass patrol, jail inmates do it for the Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-33191081713201480972010-05-07T19:37:00.001-05:002010-05-07T19:38:49.188-05:00Please give me patience – and hurry!This came past the spam filter the other day, and it is worth passing along.It is a prayer that all of us should offer up now and then – or a lot:“Heavenly Father, help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single father who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with his Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-2536413410767628992010-05-06T17:11:00.003-05:002010-05-06T17:15:54.661-05:00I love the smell of grease in the morningJust in time for Mothers Day (or not):Scented candles with that fragrance you’ve been yearning for: White Castle hamburgers.I’m not kidding, though I wish I was.If you haven’t had the pleasure, White Castle hamburgers are small collections of grease, salt and cholesterol.And that’s not as bad as it sounds. At the right time, they taste great.As the famous slacker movie illustrated, one of those Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-79224618093077274702010-05-05T14:43:00.002-05:002010-05-05T14:48:51.483-05:00Should fans running onto field be tased? Hell yes!It’s a familiar argument about leniency vs. lowering the boom:How should police handle fans who disrupt ball games by running onto the field?Some punk did this Monday night in Philadelphia in a game against the Cardinals.One of Philly’s finest tased the twerp, which upset some people.They thought it was much too harsh. The lad’s dad said it was “definitely uncalled for.”No word yet on whether theThomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-90831411369765705022010-05-04T14:50:00.004-05:002010-05-04T16:46:30.113-05:00Hot tea, cold cashIt is difficult to feel sorry for Starbucks or any food conglomerate, but these days anything is possible.For example, the coffee giant has been sued by some idiot who says he got second-degree burns from tea that was too hot.Good grief; it’s a hot beverage. If you chug it like a sody pop or spill it on your wee-wee, pain will result.Again, what part of “hot” do you not understand?This pathetic Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-61029816234692368602010-05-03T16:39:00.002-05:002010-05-03T16:44:53.333-05:00Once again, a bullet dodgedLet’s face it: We got very lucky with the car bomb in Times Square.Just like the failed underpants bombing on the Christmas Day flight.And Lord knows how many other close calls.On the one hand, you have to be incredibly grateful for these breaks.In both cases, many, many people would have been murdered.But you have to wonder: How much longer can our luck hold?Terrorists are evil, not stupid. Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-83282077692281868112010-04-30T20:38:00.004-05:002010-04-30T20:43:25.023-05:00Evicted from a pet cemetery?Further proof that the recession is not over yet:Critters are being evicted from pet cemeteries!Yikes! I didn’t even know that was possible.I’ve heard of being evicted from a hotel or restaurant (and even been tossed a time or two myself, but that’s another blog). But who ever heard of being kicked out of a graveyard?I thought that once you were buried, either man or beast, you, uh, pretty well Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-16850459991434940492010-04-29T20:31:00.002-05:002010-04-29T20:34:49.972-05:00Illegal immigration is now really illegalNow this is ironic, sort of:Illegal immigrants are leaving Arizona … because of the uproar over a new law that says they need to to skedaddle if they are in the states illegally. Even though it was already supposed to be illegal to be in this country illegally."Nobody wants to pick us up," said one frustrated Mexican day laborer in Arizona. So he and his friends are planning another border Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-79428496667215322322010-04-28T19:52:00.001-05:002010-04-28T19:55:02.625-05:00Whoa, Ohio!Just what the heck is wrong with Ohio?Lately, a lot.You might think that the Buckeye State if full of solid, hard-working (and frankly boring) Midwesterners.Think again.Exhibit A would be the recent outbreak of fleas that shut down the Fairfield County Department of Health.You read that right: A health department closed because of vermin.What’s next, a restaurant cook dying of starvation?And who Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-3510697173778507372010-04-27T15:43:00.002-05:002010-04-27T15:46:22.153-05:00Put down the french fries and slowly back awaySo how do we turn our fat, lazy kids into lean, mean achievin’ machines?A county in California may ban toys with junk food – you know, the trinkets given out with Happy Meals and other dietary disasters.The ban would apply to any kid’s meal over 485 calories or loaded up with salt or sugar. In other words, most of the menu on every fast food chain in America.In theory, the ban would motivate fastThomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-69153473939410363202010-04-26T16:36:00.003-05:002010-04-26T16:43:03.731-05:00News flash: Cigarettes and junk food will kill you!Here we go again: Another silly research project that tells us things we already knew:Like how smoking cigs, drinking booze, eating junk food and being a couch potato will make you die early.Duh!Who is surprised by this bombshell? Even the people who sell you tequila and Twinkies know they’re killing you in slow-motion. They just want to make a few bucks off you before you croak.Jeez, the only Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-85965264600024706622010-04-23T20:06:00.003-05:002010-04-23T20:14:35.912-05:00Please, no more John EdwardsIsn't it time for former presidential candidate John Edwards to shut up and go away?Now we learn that Johnny Boy will testify under oath “about his relationship with mistress Rielle Hunter, facing questions about the infamous sex tape and whether he spent campaign funds to hide the relationship.”This is too much of a good thing.There was a time when this sex scandal, like all sex scandals, was Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-40528505048262636872010-04-22T16:58:00.003-05:002010-04-22T17:02:44.805-05:00When justice stinks – literallySometimes our judicial system needs to learn to leave well enough alone.Like the drug suspect running from police who was found hiding in … a pool of liquid manure.And neck-deep at that … for at least an hour!This, my friends, is not a problem.The punk should have been allowed to stay in the stinky lagoon as long as he wanted.In fact, maybe a while longer than he wanted. It would teach him a Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-91822892009439674762010-04-21T15:42:00.003-05:002010-04-21T16:10:31.463-05:00Big Ben benchedSo Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is gonna get some down time next season – six game on the bench.Some fans may think this is unfair because Big Ben, as he is so charmingly nicknamed, wasn’t convicted of a crime – or even charged with one.Still, a 20-year-old woman basically said he raped her in a toilet in a Georgia bar when she was drunk.That is not the kind of thing you put on your Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-80147455387609008952010-04-20T15:05:00.003-05:002010-04-20T15:14:02.126-05:00Darryl's dicey deathThe world is a better place today because Darryl Durr was executed yesterday. He was a lowdown killer – and a serial rapist – who doesn’t deserve any sympathy.But the lawyers for this otherwise forgettable punk deserve credit for coming up with a new excuse to avoid The Needle.They claimed that ol’ Darryl was – get this – allergic to the anesthetic used in Ohio executions.So they said that the Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-66658939993661609362010-04-19T16:07:00.002-05:002010-04-19T16:11:14.136-05:00Real men don’t wear “mirdles”Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, along comes news of “male girdles.”Or “mirdles” as they are called.Sad but true. An Australian company is marketing the darned things, which is appropriate because this turns traditional ideals of manhood upside down.They’re pitching it to businessmen who want to look trim without actually exercising or passing on that second piece of pie.A Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-79698349325517378772010-04-16T21:27:00.002-05:002010-04-16T21:31:31.008-05:00Ice land, ash airIf you were thinking of jumping on a plane this weekend and flitting off to the French Riviera for some sun ’n’ champagne, you’d better shift to Plan B.Seems a giant ash cloud from a volcano in Iceland has shut down most air traffic over Europe. And could keep it shut down for a while.This is serious, folks.Two-thirds of Europe’s flights have been cancelled. For that matter, also nixed are many Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-23888525769295716002010-04-15T15:35:00.001-05:002010-04-15T15:37:50.792-05:00Next on Larry King: All about divorce!2010 is shaping up to be a bad year for marriage. The latest blow is the news that famed talk show host Larry King wants a divorce from his wife.Actually, this shouldn’t be much of a surprise. The Inquisitive One has done this seven times before.Leapin’ lizards, Larry!Marriage isn’t like renting an apartment. You don’t bail out when you want a change of scenery.And sadly – but typically – this Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-7307372418639068742010-04-14T15:08:00.002-05:002010-04-14T15:17:53.800-05:00U.S. needs tax breaks for mustaches and …Why the hell not? Why shouldn’t American men who grow mustaches get a tax break?That’s what the American Mustache Institute is advocating, and I say it’s about damn time.Almost every other interest group gets a goodie from Uncle Sam.We need to correct this lingering problem in our society – if the words “fairness” and “equality” carved beneath the Statue of Liberty mean anything. (Uh, they are Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-57875358515780720132010-04-13T12:41:00.002-05:002010-04-13T12:44:13.404-05:00Will the Astros go 0-162?Of course not. That’s ridiculous. Why would anyone even suggest that?Oh, that’s right, the 0-7 start.The fewest runs scored in either league.Lance Berkman’s bum knee and the realization that he won’t get off the DL soon.Nagging worries about Roy O and his so-so record last year.A lineup filled with older players on the downward arcs of their careers.A tight-fisted owner who is unlikely to stick aThomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-136909697023929782010-04-12T15:26:00.003-05:002010-04-12T15:30:30.695-05:00Fortunately, PhilSo it’s true. The Good Lord does answer prayers – like my plea on Friday not to let Tiger Woods win the Masters.OK, maybe it wasn’t heavenly intervention. After all, the Man Upstairs has lots of important stuff on His plate.Still, it was sweet to see good ol’ Phil don the green jacket Sunday while Tiger went off to continue his sex rehab.Phil is one of the rare nice guys in big-time sports. His Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3