Leave it to the government to make things complicated.
New federal guidelines for the disposal of old prescription drugs recommend mixing them with icky things like cat litter or coffee grounds before tossing them out.
“Following these new guidelines will protect our nation’s waterways and keep pharmaceuticals out of the hands of potential abusers,” Environmental Protection Agency administrator Stephen L. Johnson told the Associated Press
(Why do I think that Mr. Johnson is a neat-freak like Felix Ungar in “The Odd Couple”?)
Really, is any of this necessary? Is there an epidemic of garbage-looting drug fiends that I have somehow overlooked?
I did a quick Internet search on the problem of people taking drugs from trash. I got exactly zero hits.
This is not to say that it hasn’t happened somewhere, sometime. But if you were a junkie, would you rather root through a smelly dumpster in hopes of coming across a bottle of OxyContin, or throw a brick through a store window and grab something? That’s what I thought.
You’re probably thinking, “Flush ’em away.” Understandable, but wrong.
You see, “U.S. Geological Survey studies have shown that a wide range of pharmaceuticals and other compounds survive wastewater treatment and later are discharged into lakes, streams and other bodies of water across North America,” according to the AP article. And you’d better believe that some of these soggy drugs “may affect aquatic life.”
So don’t go that route, my friend. Circle of Life and all that.
Now, coffee grounds I could handle. I’ve heard they’re good for plant mulch, too.
But my experience with “used” cat litter is that it’s rather unpleasant. In fact, I’m pretty sure I would NOT WANT TO STAND OVER A STINKING HEAP OF IT GRINDING IN OLD PILLS.
Gee whiz, Mr. Bureaucrat, following these new guidelines will drive a lot of people crazy … which will make them need more drugs for anxiety or depression ... which will lead to more disposal problems … and more government guidelines.
Isn’t that how all this started?
Friday, February 23, 2007
Drug disposal
Friday, February 16, 2007
Greetings from a friend overseas!
How can anybody be that dumb? I’m referring to the ol’ Nigerian investment scam that clogs your incoming e-mail every morning?
Who can actually be taken in by the oddly worded and patently phony requests to share millions of dollars … if you will only send back your bank account identification, Social Security number and a few other intensely personal pieces of information.
Incredibly, of course, it happens all the time. Somebody who’s either greedy or stupid — or both, usually — takes the bait and sends thousands of dollars overseas.
The latest sucker is, of all people, the treasurer of Alcona County, Michigan, one Thomas Katona according to the Associated Press
You would think that a person in that job would have enough sense to spot that hoax a mile away. Shoot, he’s even an accountant on the side.
It wasn’t enough. He lost $72,500 of his own money. His own bank even tried to warn him that he was stepping off a cliff, but he wouldn’t listen.
The bigger problem, however, is that he also apparently forked over $1.2 million of the taxpayers’ money. We’re talking eight separate wire transfers over a two-month period.
“You have to wonder how he could get involved in such a thing,” said Sheriff Doug Ellinger.
Good question, Doug. But why did voters keep electing Katona even though in 1998 he pleaded guilty to falsifying documents for his accounting clients?
I hate to sound like a nitpicking hairsplitter, but the words “fraud” and “county treasurer” really shouldn’t be in the same sentence.
Oh well, live and learn.
Before he was caught, Katona supposedly was telling people “that his train was coming in and he was going to be retiring very soon.”
Mr. K, the train was headed your way, but you were standing on the tracks and about to get flattened.
I wonder what kind of retirement programs are available in the Michigan Department of Corrections?
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Call of the wild
It’s one of those sad/bizarre stories you come across every few months: A deranged or misguided person goes to a zoo and gets into a cage with an animal … and gets killed.
Part of you is thinking, “Gee, that’s too bad.” And let’s be honest, part of you is thinking, “What did they think would happen? A Dr. Doolittle moment?”
The latest incident: A woman in northern Belgium got into a cage with cheetahs last weekend at the Olmense Zoo. Karen Aerts, 37, of Antwerp, was found dead on Monday, according to the Associated Press.
Police said they had ruled out foul play. (Good call, Inspector Clouseau!)
Aerts apparently was an animal lover. An extreme animal lover.
She had “adopted” one of the cheetahs in question — Bongo, for those who care — and even paid for the big cat’s food. She apparently hid out in the zoo after it closed on Sunday and found the keys to the cheetahs’ cage.
No problem — so far. The problem occurred with the statement issued by zoo spokesman Jan Libot.
“Karen loved animals. Unfortunately the cheetahs betrayed her trust.”
Huh? Betrayed her trust? Has Mr. Libot been cleaning out too many cages without proper ventilation?
The cheetahs did not “betray” anything. The bond that the confused woman apparently felt she shared with the cats existed only in her mind. The cheetahs were not her pets or her friends. They were wild animals — and predators at that, with claws and fangs. When she entered their cage, they reacted like wild animals.
Worse yet, an animal rights group called GAIA now wants the zoo to be closed, calling it unsafe for animals and visitors.
To be honest, I don’t know the zoo’s safety record. But I’m willing to go out on a limb here and venture that if you stay out of the critters’ cages … your chances of going home in one piece are probably pretty good.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Cut off
I forgot my cell phone the other day when I went to work. It was terrible; I felt like I was cut off from the world.
What if someone called me? What if I wanted to call them?
I couldn’t talk to them. I didn’t have my trusty little companion on my hip. I might as well have been on the dark side of the moon.
How did people cope with this isolation in the old days?
… OK, technically, I wasn’t completely cut off. I did have a land-line in my office. And the people I would want to call had a land-line at their home or job or, best of all, that omnipresent cell phone.
But it wasn’t the same. What if someone called when I was out of my office? I might not see that I missed a call for five or 10 minutes!
And what if I was walking to my car — or even driving. I wouldn’t be able to talk to them until I got home!
When I think of all the vital information I missed, I felt sick.
When I got home, I couldn’t wait to rush to my cell phone. At last, I could rejoin the human race and yak with people about Important Stuff all the time.
It had been a harrowing experience, but somehow I survived. Now I know what it’s like to be lost in the woods or marooned on a desert island.
Funny thing though: When I finally wrapped my trembling fingers around my beloved cell phone, something must have gone wrong. It said “no missed calls.”
How could that be?
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Fight or flight
There's a nasty war going on in Iraq. Some Americans support it. A bigger — and growing — number do not.
That’s fine. This is a free country, so you’re free to agree or disagree with what the president does.
Except for one class of citizens. That would be anybody in the Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force or Coast Guard.
They are all volunteers. They knew they wouldn’t be working for a flower shop or petting zoo. Even if they signed on to be cooks or clerks, they knew they would wear a uniform and train with guns.
Now mind you, they don’t have to like the war or George W. Bush. But if they are sent to Iraq — or Afghanistan or anywhere — they have to suck it up and go.
What they should not do is say, “Hold on; I just figured out I’m a conscientious objector to this war. Heck, maybe all wars, for that matter.”
If they truly believe those things, they’re remembering them a few months or few years too late. The time to figure all that out is before you volunteer to join the armed forces, not afterward.
One of these resisters is even an officer — First Lt. Ehren Watada, who refused to deploy to Iraq with the rest of the Second Infantry Division. His case is even weaker, precisely because he’s a commissioned officer.
Yes, there are times when a soldier can properly refuse an order. If he’s told to do something like shoot a civilian or torture a prisoner, it would be immoral if he didn’t disobey.
But those cases are extremely rare. Once you sign on the dotted line, you should realize that a lot of decisions about your life are out of your hands.
After a serviceman’s tour is up, he can go back to doing or saying whatever he wants about the war. Until then, shaddup and obey the commander in chief.
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