Drug disposal

Leave it to the government to make things complicated.

New federal guidelines for the disposal of old prescription drugs recommend mixing them with icky things like cat litter or coffee grounds before tossing them out.

“Following these new guidelines will protect our nation’s waterways and keep pharmaceuticals out of the hands of potential abusers,” Environmental Protection Agency administrator Stephen L. Johnson told the Associated Press

(Why do I think that Mr. Johnson is a neat-freak like Felix Ungar in “The Odd Couple”?)

Really, is any of this necessary? Is there an epidemic of garbage-looting drug fiends that I have somehow overlooked?

I did a quick Internet search on the problem of people taking drugs from trash. I got exactly zero hits.

This is not to say that it hasn’t happened somewhere, sometime. But if you were a junkie, would you rather root through a smelly dumpster in hopes of coming across a bottle of OxyContin, or throw a brick through a store window and grab something? That’s what I thought.

You’re probably thinking, “Flush ’em away.” Understandable, but wrong.

You see, “U.S. Geological Survey studies have shown that a wide range of pharmaceuticals and other compounds survive wastewater treatment and later are discharged into lakes, streams and other bodies of water across North America,” according to the AP article. And you’d better believe that some of these soggy drugs “may affect aquatic life.”

So don’t go that route, my friend. Circle of Life and all that.

Now, coffee grounds I could handle. I’ve heard they’re good for plant mulch, too.

But my experience with “used” cat litter is that it’s rather unpleasant. In fact, I’m pretty sure I would NOT WANT TO STAND OVER A STINKING HEAP OF IT GRINDING IN OLD PILLS.

Gee whiz, Mr. Bureaucrat, following these new guidelines will drive a lot of people crazy … which will make them need more drugs for anxiety or depression ... which will lead to more disposal problems … and more government guidelines.

Isn’t that how all this started?