Bikers gone wild

Think the recovery is real?

Hah! The recession still rules, as proved by the boom in bicycle-related crimes from criminals who apparently can’t afford cars.

In Beaumont, the cops had to pull over one of these desperadoes last week.

And it was not a piece-of-cake traffic stop. The biker in question was allegedly packin’ drugs and “fought with officers to the point that an officer needs assistance call was put out.”

Wow; that is one tough two-wheeler!

Speaking of which, in Port Neches the robbers have now been reduced to riding bicycles.

This very morning, a biker knocked off the Dollar General and sped away on a Schwinn (or a reasonable facsimile thereof.)

Now that is embarrassing. Why couldn’t the cops catch him? Did their cars run out of gas thanks to budget cuts from this nagging recession?

If things get worse, robbers may have to downsize from cars to bikes to their feet and just run off after pulling a heist.

If it gets that bad, maybe stores should be allowed to keep dogs that could run down the bad guy and hold on to his ankle until some cop could ’cuff him.

… By the way: Willie Sutton famously robbed banks because that’s where the money is. Why would someone take down a Dollar General?