Bizarre books

So what was the nuttiest-but-real book title of the year?

None other than "Crocheting Adventures with Hyperbolic Planes."

But you probably knew that. Heck, you may even have the manuscript in your home library (assuming you have a home and a library).

The competition was the annual Diagram Prize in Britain. The only rule is that the book title has to be real, not something goofy like "What Kind of Bean is This Chihuahua?"

OK, my bad. That was a runner-up this year, along with "Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich."

At least the last one makes some sense. It follows "Collectible Forks of the Third Reich" and "Collectible Knives of the Third Reich."

It is nice to know, I guess, that some authors have really wacky titles for their books.

Then again, the less I know about "Living With Crazy Buttocks," the better.

I suppose the ultimate would be if one of these bizarre books began, “It was a dark and stormy night.”

Then it could qualify for the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Prize, which is given to the most wretched sentence or paragraph penned in the English language over the course of a year.

… And we wonder why the kids these days don’t read anymore.