Canadian achin'

As the Winter Olympics drag on – I mean continue their exciting run! – everybody seems to be having a dandy time up there in Canada.

Except the Canadians.

Before the games began, the Canadian Olympic Committee made some very unCanadian boasts. They said they were gonna smoke the rest of the world and win the medal count.

They even called the effort “Own the Podium.”

Alas, it has turned out more like “Rent the Loser’s Bench.”

Poor Canada is lagging along in fourth place in the medal count, with nine total.
They’re behind tiny Norway – and tied with smallish South Korea!

They even lost at hockey – their national sport! – to the U.S. team.

Woe, Canada.

Many Canadians felt uneasy with all the pre-games trash talk.

Canadians, for the most part, are low-key, easygoing folks.

I hear they’re even reluctant to brag about how much snow they get each winter, which is a bunch.

Oh well, that’s the way the puck drops. (That’s the Canadian equivalent of, “That’s the way the ball bounces.")

If it will make them feel any better, many Americans are deeply disappointed that our curling team has tasted the bitter ashes of defeat. Once again, there will be no gold medal coming back to the states, or even a silver or bronze.

The curling community is said to be in an uproar, demanding action!

I feel their pain. As soon as I figure out what curling is, I intend to be outraged too.

Until then, let us commiserate with our Canadian neighbors.

Maybe they can comfort in the fact that Tiger Woods, Amy Winehouse and Roman Polanski aren’t Canadian.