California schemin'

The California legislature has finally taken care of this persistent myth that folks in the Golden State are trendy loons. I think.

It has declared the first week of March as “Cuss-Free Week.”

If you’re like me you’re thinking, “It’s about time!” (Or maybe, “What are those morons up to now?”)

Hey, it’s worth a try. And this new effort might even raise a few bucks for a state that’s teetering on bankruptcy.

One lawmaker is distributing no-cuss jars to all 120 legislative offices in the Capitol. If a bad word comes out of your mouth, some money comes out of your wallet too.

We shall see if it works out. If it does, it could be followed with:

“No Bad Clothes Month” for April. People who wear high-water pants or socks-and-sandals or try to match checks and stripes would be charged with a Class A misdemeanor.

“Good Hair Month” for May. Clueless types who aren’t familiar with combs or shampoo would have their heads shaved on the spot.

“Stupid Expressions Are Banned Month” for June. Residents would be forbidden from saying things like, “Jeez, is it hot enough for ya?” or “He who smelt it dealt it.” Violators would have to move to Utah.

That’s all the Legislature could come up with before it got distracted by a Republican and a Democrat who got into a fistfight over who was more statesmanlike.