Taking a bite out of crime

The stupidity of criminals never ceases to amaze. And when you throw in weird state laws to prosecute idiotic crooks, you’ve got a doozy of a tale.

Like the guy in Florida who tried to steal a ferret by shoving it in his pants and running out of the pet store.

Needless to say, the dumbass got bitten. In parts of the body where you don’t want to get bitten.

Uh, what did he expect? This has to be the worst possible combination of A) the animal chosen to be stolen, and B) the place to put it.

(A close second would be putting a boa constrictor around your neck and running out of the pet store.)

But wait, there’s more.

When a witness confronted said thief, he whipped out the ferret and shoved it in his face.

Which under Florida law, is classified as using the ferret as a “special weapon.” So he gets a shoplifting charge and a battery charge.

Can it get worse for this moron? You betcha!

You know he’s going to hear over and over in jail, “Hey, dude, is that a ferret in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?”

Serves him right. … Hope he gets community service at the animal shelter and has to clean out dozens of stinky dog cages. And maybe a ferret pen or two.