I guess Evan Schuler’s dream of being a police officer has been stomped flatter ’n a pancake.
Like the opossum he took care of the other night.
You see, Eager Evan was on a “ride along” with a cop in Danville, Va. That is where a civilian sits alongside a cop or deputy to see the drama and glory of law enforcement up close and personal.
That’s what ol’ Evan was doing when he saw a possum on a fence. Faster than you could say “Miranda rights,” he got out of the car and proceeded to stomp the critter into a lifeless, mushy pulp.
Why, no one knows. This is like whipping out an Uzi to scare off a door-to-door salesman. Basically what the dictionary defines as “overkill.” Or “acting like an idiot.”
In fact, not only did the ride-along end abruptly for Evan, he was charged with animal cruelty.
Tsk, tsk. Any dreams he had of a career in law enforcement are pretty much crushed (like the possum's skull). I guess he could also rule out any jobs with the local zoo or animal shelter.
... Wonder if this guy eats roadkill or something?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Curb your enthusiasm
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2 comments:
This guy ought to take up a career involving foot speed. You gotta be pretty darned nimble to catch AND stomp a possum. Or so I've been lead to believe. They used to sneak into our kitchen through the doggy flap door and chow down on dog kibble. We had the fattest, shiniest coated possum on the block. Dad finally used the .22 to end the problem. (The possum, not the dog.)
Hence the term "possum cop?"
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