Hoax busters

The Heenes of “Balloon Boy” fame are sweatin’ it out.

They are, of course, the Colorado clan that believes, “The family that fakes together stays together.”

Prosecutors are still trying to decide whether to indict the Mom & Pop Balloon Shop for that little distraction they caused recently.

Felony or misdemeanor? Multiple counts or one? The nation’s legal system – and “Larry King Live” – are waiting anxiously.

My inside sources say the charges could include any of the following:

1) Having weird names. “Heenes” rhymes with wienies. ‘Nuff said there. And the 6 year old who was supposedly floating up, up and away is named “Falcon.” Uh, are his brothers “Eagle” and “Hawk”?

2) Spilling the beans too quickly. If they had milked the scam a little longer, they could have pushed the World Series to the background and we wouldn’t have had to watch the Yankees gloat.

3) Failing to ask if they could go into some silly rehab program like all the other celebrity losers to beat the rap.

On the plus side, they have introduced the odd term “Balloon Boy” to the national lexicon and provided lots of kids with nifty ideas for Halloween costumes.

I say the judge should sentence them to 100 hours of community service and order them to make TV commercials warning impressionable youngsters not to do stupid things.

… Wait, the whole thing was designed to get them a reality show, wasn’t it? OK, then drop the TV commercials and assign them to litter pickup along a desolate stretch of highway.

And double the sentence if they claim to see Bigfoot while they are out there.