Food fight

Is there no end to the problems from the obesity epidemic that threatens to bury our fair nation beneath a mountain of blubber?

Now an accused killer in New Jersey (where else?) is claiming he was too fat to do the deed.

It’s true, calorie-counters.

Ed Ates (don’t you love that last name?) claims he was too tubby to run up a flight of stairs, pump a bunch of bullets into his son-in-law, bend over to pick up the shell casings, run back down the stairs and drive for 21 straight hours to his mom’s home in Louisiana!

For the record, he was packing 285 pounds of beef (and some flab) on his 5 foot 8 inch frame.

His lawyer claims Ates’ weight and other health problems should rule him out as Suspect No. 1.

"You look at Ed and you don't need to hear it from a doctor," the attorney said.

I dunno. When a person – even a fat person – is motivated enough, he can do some amazing things.

The judge ought to order a little test on big Eddie:

Make sure he misses a few meals in jail. Then let it casually slip out that three or four Big Macs, a couple of orders of fries and a large Coke are available on the second floor.

If fatso stays put and salivates, he just might be innocent.

But if he bounds up the stairs like an NFL lineman chasing Brett Favre, I say fry him.

… After sautéing him in a light butter sauce, of course.