Johnny, we hardly knew ye

Some people think that Nevada Sen. John Ensign is a no-good slug for preaching family values while having an affair with the wife of his good friend and Senate aide.

Not me. I think this guy should be nominated for Humanitarian of the Year.

Why? Hell, because he made sure his parents paid nearly $100,000 to the gal he was fooling around with — yes, the same gal who was accused of trying to extort money from him.

I know what you’re thinking: The cash that his parents forked over was hush money pure and simple.

How can you say that about poor Johnny? He clearly stated that the 100K payoff was made “out of concern for the well being of longtime family friends during a difficult time.”

And he ought to know — ’cause he caused the difficult time in her life by luring her into an affair while she was married too!

Ensign’s lawyer even said, “The gifts are consistent with a pattern of generosity by the Ensign family to the Hamptons and others. The payments were made as gifts, accepted as gifts and complied with tax rules governing gifts.”

You see what I mean! This guy’s a humanitarian’s humanitarian! He probably tossed a quarter to some bum on a streetcorner once too.

I just hope this puts to rest all that nasty talk about the moral values of the senator. He goes into public service to help his state, and this is the thanks he gets.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets so fed up with all the carping from his whiny constituents that he goes out and hikes the Appalachian Trail.