This is scary: A new law in Canada will bestow Canadian citizenship on hundreds of thousands of Americans who think they’re, well, normal Americans.
It doesn’t seem legal, but it’s typical of those sneaky Canadians to pull something like this. Really, what else could you expect from a country that’s been causing problems across the globe for centuries?
I’ve even heard that George Bush was going to include them in his infamous “Axis of Evil” speech but left ’em off because of a teleprompter glitch. Lucky Canucks!
If you’re like me, something like this will keep you up at night. About all I can do to ease your worries is to remind you, with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, that,
You might be a Canadian if:
-- You have a hockey stick hanging on your bedroom wall instead of a Louisville slugger.
-- You call a temperature in the 20s a “warming spell.”
-- You walk into your neighborhood tavern and say, “Gimme a Molson, eh?”
-- You think Juno Beach was the real hot spot on D-Day.
-- You think Margaret Trudeau was hotter than Michelle Obama.
… I don’t think we should take this lying down. We should pass a law saying you can’t become a Canadian if you’re an American, unless you want to, which few sensible people would.
If that doesn’t work, our new battle cry should be, “Fifty-four forty or fight!”
Friday, April 17, 2009
Oh, Canada!
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5 comments:
You might be a Canadian if you think Tim Horton's is haute cuisine, eh.
You might be from Newfoundland if you tell Canadian jokes.
-- Sven the Viking
Oy's da boys.
-- Paddy
You are definitely a Canadian (or simply reasonably well-read) if you know that Alcock and Brown made the first transatlantic flight, Newfoundland to Ireland, in a WWI surplus wood-and-canvas Vickers Vimy, in June of 1919.
Shame on you, Tom. I take enough grief everyday being discriminated against based on my Canadian heritage. Enough I say!! In fact, I would think it wopuld be in good spirit if Americans celebrated the 'Great White North" and all the good that comes with it. Think about it - what would this country be without Peter Jennings, Dan Ackroyd, Second City Television, Shannia Twain, the robotic "Canadian Arm" on the space shuttle or even John Candy. Maybe make it a tradition and offer a day off to their neighbors who happen to be Canadian.
Just for clarification, however, Canadians cannot lose their national heritage. We can not become "unCanadian" by taking on another citizenship. While Americans make their citizens choose, ("You are American, you can't be both.) those fine pacifists to the north allow people like myself who are born Canadian, to die Canadian, no matter where their lives may ahve taken them.
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