Take a hike

So Secretary of State Hillary is trying to find out from Iran what happened to three American tourists who were hiking in Iraq and ended up on the wrong side of the border.

Some answers would be appreciated. Like the ones the hikers could give when someone asks them, “What the hell were you morons thinking?”

Granted, hiking can be a fun sport — that is, if you’re not in the Army and carrying a 40-pound pack. But of all the places in the world to hike, why would you choose Iraq?

For starters, if you’ve glanced at a paper lately, you’d know THERE’S A WAR GOING ON OVER THERE.

If the Iraqi Tourism Ministry is already selling package deals to Americans, those guys are better salesmen than I thought. I wonder if they’re using the slogan, “Come see Iraq. You’ll get a bang out of it.”

Even within Iraq, the Shiites, Kurds and Sunnis don’t always get along. In fact, they’ve been known to murder each other with great enthusiasm. This is not a good place for strangers to be wandering around in.

And if you stray over the border in northeastern Iran, as these clowns did, you END UP IN IRAN!

If there’s any place worse than Iraq right now, it’s Iran!

Good grief, why would you want to saunter into the middle of this mess? Was the Korean DMZ booked up?

If these explorers get back in the states soon with all their fingernails, they should consider themselves lucky.

Next time they want adventure, they should try something a little safer — like a soccer game in a minefield.