Pitino's no-no

What a putz Rick Pitino is.

He has forgotten all the rules about being a big-time college basketball coach:

1) Don’t have sex with a woman who is not your wife.

2) If you do, don’t have sex with a woman who is not your wife who resembles the creepy character played by Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction.”

3) If you do, don’t have sex with a woman who is not your wife who resembles the creepy character played by Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction” ON THE TABLE OF A RESTAURANT!

Thank God it was closed. Gosh, are motel rooms that hard to get in Louisville?

4) If you do, don’t have sex with a woman who is not your wife who resembles the creepy character played by Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction” ON THE TABLE OF A RESTAURANT while ONE OF YOUR ASSISTANT COACHES LINGERS ON THE SIDE!

Puh-lease! What was his role? Hand you a towel at a crucial moment? Blow the whistle on any charging foul?

... The real question now is whether the “moral depravity” clause in Pitino’s contract will be invoked and he will be told to hit the road.

My guess is that University of Louisville President James Ramsey will study this matter carefully, consulting scholars and law books, and above all considering the impact this could have on impressionable young students.

... Nah, I’m just kidding. Ramsey will base his decision on Pitino’s won-loss record and this year’s recruiting class. He’s safe.