Scottish sloths

You can bet that Glasgow, Scotland, won’t put this one on any of those slick chamber-of-commerce brochures they hand out in rest stops.

It's been named the laziest city in the United Kingdom.

It’s true, ’cause numbers don’t lie:

36 percent of Glasgowites would not run to catch a bus. (Though in fairness, if it was a bus to a hamburger stand, the total increased slightly.)

52 percent won’t walk their dogs. (I’m guessing that therefore the dogs are fat too.)

Can it get worse? Yes it can! 72 percent won’t even make love to their spouse at the end of a hard day of doing nothing! (“Not tonight, dear. I just had an extra-large pizza.”)

How bad is it overall? It’s this bad: In rundown parts of Glasgow (no, that is not redundant) the life-expectancy of men is only 54.

Geez, in Iraq that number is 67 — and in that country you have to put up with the odd car bombing, which can put a serious crimp in your life expectancy.

A quote from Glasgow resident Bill Laidlaw says it all:

“The only thing I’m tired of is being constantly called lazy and unhealthy by the government and doctors. Every week we’re getting knocked by the government, or this survey or that. If they spent some money where it counts rather than these surveys, we’d all be better off.”

With that, Laidlaw abruptly ended the interview … and waddled off to a donut shop.