Oh Ricky you're so fine ...

The great drama over whether Rick Pitino would be canned for his “indiscretion” is over. He’s not going anywhere.

In fact, there was no chance that a coach with a record like his would pay a price for the, uh, incident in question.

Heck, if you read the beginning of the statement from Louisville president Dr. James Ramsey, you might think that Randy Ricky just got a Nobel Prize or somethin’:

“Rick Pitino is the University of Louisville’s basketball coach. He has been a role model for countless young people and a positive influence on this community. … ”

Absa-tively, Jimmy. Just because he banged a groupie on a restaurant table and then gave her 3 grand for an abortion — oops, I mean “health insurance” — is no reason to do something rash.

I mean, what if his replacement didn’t win 20 games and get into the NCAA tourney? Could a greater tragedy befall the university?

Whatever. At least Pitino will suffer the indignities of countless smart-aleck waiters in the future, who will say things like:

“Good evening, Mr. Pitino. … Would you like a table for two?”

or

“Good evening, Mr. Pitino. Would you like to be seated in our Family Section … or by that table near the bar with all the hot chicks?”

or

“Good evening, Mr. Pitino. Tonight’s special is a ‘pig in a blanket.’ … Or have you already brought one?”