So what do you do with a burglar who crawls inside a storm drain and won’t come out?
Apparently, the cops never thought about one option.
The story: This guy in Los Angeles is caught trying to steal copper wire from a warehouse. When he’s being chased by the cops, he crawls into this storm drain that’s 80 feet long but only 18 inches wide.
And he wouldn’t come out.
The cops teargassed him several times, but he wouldn’t budge.
Then they rigged up a plunger of sorts and tried to smoosh him out, but he cut the rope on the thing.
I guess you could say it was one of those occasions that called for the “long arm of the law.”
At any rate, eventually he calls his girlfriend from his underground lair on his cell phone, and she calls a TV station.
“He’s 30 feet underground, and somehow he has cell coverage,” said one amazed deputy.
After a brief interview, he finally gives up and comes out.
Fascinating. But after an hour or two, I would have tried a different approach:
Securely block up both ends, put signs over them reading “County Jail Annex” and tell Dr. Einstein to let them know when he was ready for a more traditional cell.
And if this little wait stretched out for hours or even days, well, that’s really not a problem.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
To catch a thief
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8 comments:
Add a line of public plastic outhouses atop the thing.
This sounds like a situation that calls for a giant plunger! And/or a fire hose.
Drop some rats in. Big rats.
Drop Scripture on 'im.
Or my book, available on line (your Visa or Mastercard welcome), SEVEN SUCCESSFUL SECRETS FOR SUCKING SUCKERS OUT OF THE DARK NIGHT OF THE STORM DRAIN, with a multicultural selection of readings from Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Kraft-Ebbing, Doctor Laura, David Letterman, and Me, Me, Me.
-- The Reverend Doctor Brother Master Bishop quaaludus Smith, Pastor of the Bright Light Free Will Three and 3/4 Gospel Missionary Temple Fellowship Outreach of the Lord Jesus and Me of the Lamb and Limousine Service & Chairperson of the Newdin County Democratic Party
Firecrackers. And small boys with ice cream.
We need to understand that the storm drain is a maternal image, a dark, warm place for the lost soul to crawl into, a reversion to his mother's womb, y'see. And stuff.
-- Poncy Tworbt, MA, Grief Counselor and Youth Pastor, host of Jesus' Groove on Saturday afternoon.
To clarify for some of you with horrible thoughts, JESUS' GROOVE is an hour of progressive/fusion/ Christian rock broadcast on KWHA every Saturday at two in the morning until the antenna digital problem is fixed. Our ministry to to bring Jesus to where the young people are at with a hip/soul rhythm of cutting edge extreme bongos and folk guitars. Like, you know, Jesus got his groove on for all of us at Calvary and not at JESUS' GROOVE. It's really happenin', man; it's where the kool kids hang out on Channel 33 1/3.
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