You gotta hand it to those Swedes. They know how to party.
Not have-fun party, but political-party.
You see, Sweden’s Pirate Party just won its first seat in the European Parliament. It snagged 7.1 percent of the vote in Sweden, enough to give it one seat in the European version of our Congress.
Confused? You should be.
The Pirate Party doesn’t believe in Somali-like buccaneering. It wants more free content on the Internet.
You would think they’d be called something like “More ’Net Goodies” Party, but maybe it’s a Swedish thing.
Anyhow, it got me to thinking. The U.S. of A. needs more political parties. I’ll support a new one, whatever it’s named, if it will promise to:
-- Require stores to keep an express checkout lane open at all times.
-- Limit patriotic Americans to two “Support Our Troops” magnetic ribbons per vehicle.
-- Force fast-food joints to give you something for free if the wait in the drive-through lane is longer than 5 minutes.
-- Confiscate any pet whose owner doesn’t “bag it and tag it” when walking them. (Especially on my lawn.)
-- Outlaw the use of lawnmowers before 8 a.m. on Saturday mornings.
-- Allow the firing of one warning shot for door-to-door cult evangelists.
-- Prohibit people from mentioning the humidity when talking about the weather.
… That’s all I can think of for now; more suggestions welcome.
Monday, June 08, 2009
It's party time, Swedish style
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6 comments:
Just WHAT do you mean by evangelical cult, brother? I will pray for your immediate death if you said what I think you said when you said what you said, sinner.
Peace.
-- The Reverend Doctor Brother Master Bishop Quaaludus Smith, Pastor of The Bright Light Free Will Four Square 3 and 3/4 Gospel Missionary Temple of the Lord Jesus Me of the Lamb Outreach Ministereries and Limousine Service.
And don't think I don't know what you know about the word verification being Satan's middle name when spoken back'ards and for'ards so I sprinkled some of my patent holy water (for a love offering of $5 a bottle available by my children at the intersection on Saturday mornings if you love Jesus and you'd better or else)
Whooo-ee! That feller does go on, don't he? Now for me I belong to The Unemployed Due to a Back Back During Deer Season Bolt-Turners for Jesus.
What do Swedish pirates yell when boarding a ship? "Harrrrrr, ja?"
Mack, they cry out "Heave to or die by lutefisk!" And I've seen AND smelled lutefisk. Take my word for it when I say ANYONE would heave to or park or jump off a cliff when lutefisk is aimed at them!
for the uninformed, lutefisk is a dried, stiff as a board and aged for a minimum of six months type of fish that bears an uncanny resemblance to gar fish. But not as cute and cuddly.
t tom terrific, don't ya mean grab it and bag it? i can't imagine taggin' a bag of doggie dookie. i, of course, curb my puppies when i walk 'em and they have to poopy, so's i don't grab and bag. however, i have asked, and handed out bags, to owners i catch lettin' their critters dump in my yard. mine don't poop in their yards, i don't want theirs poopin' in mine. one lady in my 'hood used to always let her pup dump wherever it wanted, i handed her a gag bag, and she cleaned it up, but i haven't seen her, or the dog, in a while. wonder what happened to the dog?
If lutefisk was all the old Vikings had to eat, no wonder they were so cranky!
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