National Daze

Talk about confusion. A couple of guys in Indiana wanted to declare Monday as “National Man Day.”

Great idea? You bet your barbells. But Monday is already “Sneak a Kiss Day.”

What a mess. America needs a Calendar Czar to sort these things out.

And by the way, I thought we already had a National Man Day — the first day of deer season.

This NatManDay was designed to encourage guys “to take part in ‘manly’ activities such as football, hunting or watching Rocky movies.”

Rocky movies? Shouldn’t that be on another day? Like National Watch Bad Movies Day?

Whatever. If you want to plan the rest of your week, you should be aware of these other impending National Days:

Tuesday — National Wear Mismatched Socks Day. (Sometimes celebrated by individuals on other days of the year.)

Wednesday — National Eat a Burrito Day. Originally designed to celebrate our Hispanic heritage. Over time, it has been taken over by fat people of all races who want to pig out on carbohydrates.

Thursday — National Hug a Stranger Day. (Optional in Newark and Detroit.)

Friday — National Be Optimistic Day. (Yeah, like that’ll do any good.)

Saturday — National Armenian-American Appreciation Day. Lacks the pizazz of Columbus Day, but let’s face it, what the hell have Armenian-Americans ever done for us?

Sunday — National No-Designation Day. The one day of the year when nothing is officially going on. Enjoy it.