McCain wanes

The election will be held in one week. Everybody in America seems to realize that Barack Obama will make history by becoming the first black president.

Well, everybody but one. John McCain, the other guy running, still thinks he’s gonna end up on top.

“Those polls have consistently shown me much further behind than we actually are,” he told NBC’s Tom Brokaw on Sunday, “We’re doing fine. We have closed (the gap) in the last week.”

John, John, John. It’s reality check time. You’re a great guy, a war hero and you’re married to a beautiful brewery heiress.

But you are falling like the stock exchange on a bad day. (Which has been most of the past month.)

Your chances of ending up in the White House are only slightly larger than Paris Hilton’s. (And she’s better looking, in a trampy sort of way.)

The only way you win is if the entire Electoral College flunks Math 101.

Face it; you’re going back to the Senate. (Which is more than we can say for your buddy, Ted Stevens. He going to prison.)

Your claims of impending victory are like saying, ... well, like saying the lowly Tampa Bay Rays would end up in the World Series!

… Hey, wait a minute! Maybe people should vote after all.