Endings

Sometimes, it’s hard to know when to hang it up. Sometimes, the signals are loud and clear:

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U.S. Rep. Vito Fossella, the New York congressman who was recently revealed to be the father of a child from an extramarital affair, said he will not seek re-election this year.

For once, when a disgraced person says he’s stepping down to spend more time with his family, he means it.

The only question is which family.

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Baseball catcher Mike Piazza says he is retiring because he felt “it is time to start a new chapter in my life.”

Good luck, Mike. But at the risk of crashing the retirement party, it should be pointed out that Piazza, well, hasn’t played since last year.

The game retired him then. Now he’s making it official.

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In New Bedford, Mass., Major Donald Lamar’s stint as a firearms safety instructor is over sooner than he expected.

You see, he was teaching a class on weapons safety when he shoved his Glock into its holster, and, well, it went off.

Luckily for Lamar, the bullet just tore through his pants, not the leg inside the pants.