Down but not out

The head lawyer with the Major League Baseball players union “has expressed concern” to the commissioner over the puzzling refusal of any team to sign Barry Bonds.

He wonders if the owners are engaging in collusion. That’s when the owners secretly agree not to sign someone. And of course that’s illegal under the contract between players and owners.

Maybe the union feels like it has to go through the motions here on behalf of Barry. But this is not a mystery.

BALCO Barry was cut loose by the Giants at the end of last season. He became, sort of, the biggest free agent on the market, and I'm not just talking head size.

Yet no team called over the off-season. Since the season has begun, no team has called either.

The reason is not collusion. It’s because BARRY BONDS IS AN OBNOXIOUS JERK!

Despite his ability to hit lots of home runs, he is a selfish, crude, arrogant clubhouse cancer. When you Google “more trouble than he is worth,” you get a jillion hits for “Barry Bonds.”

This is why no team has signed him. And I admit to cackling with glee over the thought of him moping around his mansion, spewing curses, breaking things and waiting vainly for the phone to ring.

But my glee is tempered. I know it won’t last.

About mid-season or so, some team will get desperate. Or maybe a slugger will go down with an injury.

And the manager will say, “Jeez, let’s go ahead and sign Barry. Maybe it will work out. … It’s just for a half-year!”

It’s going to happen, so brace yourselves. All we can hope is that Barry’s new team doesn’t win the World Series.

That would be too, too much to bear.