Put down the french fries and slowly back away

So how do we turn our fat, lazy kids into lean, mean achievin’ machines?

A county in California may ban toys with junk food – you know, the trinkets given out with Happy Meals and other dietary disasters.

The ban would apply to any kid’s meal over 485 calories or loaded up with salt or sugar. In other words, most of the menu on every fast food chain in America.

In theory, the ban would motivate fast food joints to offer healthier stuff. (“Mommy, can I have another order of alfalfa sprouts?”)

I’m guessing the food factories will knock off a few fries or a pinch of salt to get the meal just below the threshold. After all, that’s easier and it increases their profits. Heck, a barrel of lard might last a whole month now instead of just 3 weeks.

The California Restaurant Association is not taking this sitting down, though I would think real restaurants would love to stick it to Mickey D’s.

One ad by the association shows a little girl with her hands cuffed behind her back as she holds a stuffed animal.

Awwww.

I don’t know what the solution is. Nobody likes Nanny State meddling. But we’re raising a generation of pudgy sloths who can only move their thumbs when they send text messages.

Maybe the solution is to charge by the pound – for people, not food. When you go to Dunkin’ Donuts or Taco Bell, the more you weigh the more you pay.

That’s survival of the fittest, not the fattest. Bon appétit!