Warning: Entering crappy town

Some folks in Basalt, Colo., are not happy with the town’s new “Welcome to Basalt” signs.

This is not a bad thing. More towns should be honest and warn innocent visitors of bad things they might encounter.

In Basalt, the problem is that beneath the cheery welcome sign is a warning sign that that tells drivers, of all things, not to idle their cars for more than two minutes.

At a glance, incoming motorists just see “Welcome to Basalt” quickly followed by “Warning” in red letters. As Paul Newman once said, “What we've got here is a failure to communicate.”

I say the honesty is refreshing. In fact, more towns should stop pretending their little corner of America is heaven on earth and admit the dark secrets that insiders have known for years. Such as:

“Welcome to Springfield”
“Dropout Capital of the South”

“Welcome to Mill Valley”
“Our Last 3 Mayors Are in Prison”

“Welcome to Jonesville”
“First in Football; Last in Math”

“Welcome to Plattsburg”
“If You Want a Good Restaurant, Keep Driving”

and finally …

“Welcome to Washington, D.C.”
“If It Looks Like This Place Is Screwed Up From Top to Bottom … It Is!”