Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Dirk’s dumb deed

Dirk, Dirk, Dirk. You went ahead and did it, and now you will regret it.

We refer of course, to the recent bombshell from the Jefferson County Jail that Crystal Taylor is pregnant with Dallas Maverick forward Dirk Nowitzki’s baby.


Basically, Dense Dirk is looking at 18 years of hefty child support payments to a woman who will never be nominated for Humanitarian of the Year.

In fact, news accounts indicate she’s a crazy gold-digger who’s been known to break a law or two in her day.

And this is who Dufus Dirk hooks up with. Talk about a technical foul.

Couldn’t Mavs’ owner Mark Cuban have taken him aside for one of those quiet, man-to-man chats that we see on daytime soap operas all the time?

Like, “Dirk, you see that gal over there? She is trouble with a capital T! Stay away from her!!”

Alas, this is the one time Cuban clammed up, and now Dirk’s about to be a daddy.

I think we’ve all learned a lesson here, and it’s a familiar one: Rich, dumb jocks eventually become not-so-rich dumb jocks.

Oh, well. It’s more motivation for Dirk to go after that MVP award next year — Most Vasectomied Person.

5 comments:

Mack said...

I don't follow soccer.

Anonymous said...

I don't follow baseball.

Anonymous said...

I don't follow whores.

Juan the Cook said...

I don't follow dirks.

Sven the Viking said...

Q: A colony of moles are proceeding along one of their trails. What does the last mole smell?

A" Moleasses!