Stinky suit

Wow; talk about egg on your face — and crap in the can!

A British university has apologized to a Ph.D. student for accidentally throwing away his seven-year collection of lizard poop.

That was not a misprint. Doctoral candidate Daniel Bennett had been painstakingly collecting lizard droppings in the Philippines. (For the good of science, or something.) And not just any lizard, but the rare butaan lizard, which is a relative of the Komodo dragon. (But you knew that.)

Unfortunately, his 77-pound bag of the special s**t was tossed by cleaners at his lab at Leeds University.

He said the crap caper “left me reeling.” (The smell would do that to me.)

And these days, you don’t take an insult like that lying down. Even though the university offered him compensation of 500 pounds (that’s English money, not more poop) Bennett scoffed and said he would see them in court.

Frankly, I don’t know what the university can do at this point to head off a big judgment. They don’t make Hallmark cards for this kind of faux pas, so I would send Danno a note that reads:

“Dear Dan.

“Hey, stuff happens! It was only s**t. There’s more where that came from.

“How about if we give you an office with a window and call it even?

“Please reply at your earliest convenience. … And wash your hands before you sign the letter, OK?”

Stay tuned, but not too diligently.