Who wants to be a millionaire?

It must be tough being rich.

You have the constant headaches about where to invest your loot. You have the never-ending problem of where to find good help. You have endless pleas from politicians for donations. And have you tried to find a good Mercedes mechanic lately?

And now this annoying recession is making things even worse.

Suddenly, you can’t flaunt your money, or even let the lower classes know you’re set for life.

There’s even a name for the new syndrome: luxury shame.

“There’s a sense of there being a gaucheness in spending in excess and coming home with a Louis Vuitton or Chanel bag,” said Lucyann Barry, a personal shopper and stylist for the upper crust.

Some snooty shops are being asked to put the goodies in a plain white bag. Others even have to ship the swag to your mansion so you can walk out of the boutique as if you didn’t buy anything. (As if!)

This is very, very wrong.

People without money still need role models. They need to know that a very few of us can “drop $10,000 on a shopping spree that might bring home a couple of ostrich skin handbags, a pair of shoes and a designer dress.”

When they see the uber-wealthy doing this, and flitting around in limos and private jets, they are inspired to work harder at their lousy jobs.

It gives these losers the hope that some day, they too will spend a grand for a bottle of bubbly or a night in a suite without blinking one of their pretty eyelashes.

They won’t, of course. But as long as they don’t know that, everything keeps running smoothly.

So the next time you see a millionaire, give him a hearty smile and a thumbs-up. He’s doing his part. At least you could be grateful.