Overexposed underwear

Guys, we gotta draw a line in the sand. No “man girdles,” no matter how much poundage in our paunches.

And we must act quickly. An Australian company called Equmen plans to sell “a body-slimming Core Precision Undershirt designed to squeeze a few inches off a man’s beer belly and improve his posture.”

In other words, a man girdle. Or as it’s being called in the trade, a “mirdle.”

This is not the way things were meant to be — no matter how much blather you hear.

Like the comment from Corie Chung, one of the founders of Equmen:

“This is a garment designed to physiologically and visibly improve men’s bodies. Men these days are concerned about their appearance, and they also want to feel healthy and supported.”

Nonsense! A lady’s undergarment does not “improve men’s bodies.” And any man who wants to feel “supported” just needs to buy underwear in a size too small.

Over the years, the fashion gurus have tried to foist “man purses” and “man skirts” on us. And we have stoutly resisted, as real men are supposed to.

Mark my words: If real men start wearing “mirdles,” it’s only a matter of time before “Monday Night Football” is replaced by “The View” and war movies get ruined by the hero’s “love interest.”

Be afraid; be very afraid.