Cussin' cousins

As July Fourth approaches, what are some differences between England and her former colony? Well, here’s one:

A New Mexico appeals court ruled against a moron who wanted to change his name to “F*** Censorship.”

The plaintiff is a real piece of work. His current legal name is “Variable.” Before that it was “Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokiligon.” Aren’t you glad he didn’t marry your sister?

The judges could have told “Variable” to “f*** off,” but that would have been sinking to his level. Instead, they said the proposed name change was “obscene, offensive and would not comport with common decency.”

Speaking of “f*** off,” a schoolboy across the pond put that expression on an exam paper.

Was he sent to the principal’s office? Was he expelled?

Not really. His sappy teacher gave him 2 points of credit for the obscenity, “because it does show some very basic skills we are looking for, like conveying some meaning and some spelling.”

In fact, if the punk had punctuated his insult, he would received more credit.

The teacher’s lame explanation for coddling the curser was, “It’s better than someone that doesn’t write anything at all.”

Uh, actually, no, since the exam question was, “Describe the room you are sitting in.”

If the teacher wanted to speak to the brat in language he could understand, he could have replied, “Congratulations, dumb***. You just screwed yourself out of a passing grade.”