Jocks and jerks

Sports may look simple to the inexperienced fan, but it’s complicated.

Take the Shawn Chacon / Manny Ramirez incidents.

Shawn went Latrell Sprewell on the Astros GM the other day. So the ’Stros released him. I mean, you can’t have jocks choking team employees, can you?

Well, in Boston you can. You see, the other day Manny went Latrell Sprewell on the Red Sox’s traveling secretary. It seems that Manny wanted a bunch of tickets for friends and flunkies for the team’s recent visit to Houston.

The traveling sec couldn’t or wouldn’t come through. So Manny did what any spoiled millionaire jock would do. He went Latrell Sprewell on him.

Was Manny bounced from the team like Shawn was?

No, popcorn-breath, he was not.

Any why? Well, Shawn was a so-so pitcher. His fast ball wasn’t and his curve ball wouldn’t. (He did have a killer change-up, though.) Because of his mediocrity, he was expendable.

Manny, on the other hand, is the best hitter in Bean Town. Getting rid of him, or even fining or suspending him, for throttling a normal person would be unthinkable.

In fact, whenever Manny does weird things like this or fails to hustle after a double in the corner, no one speaks harshly to The Favored One.

They just shrug their shoulders, grin, and say, “That’s Manny being Manny.”

Maybe that’s why he keeps doing things like this.