Welcome to Tehran!

Finally, the U.S. and Iran are taking care of some unfinished business. After all these years — and that unpleasant hostage crisis — the two countries are talking about re-establishing a U.S. diplomatic presence in Tehran.

It’s about time. And you may be surprised to hear this, but I think the Iranians have been getting a raw deal on this issue.

They are not the religious fanatics that some people are trying to portray them as. Deep down inside, they’re jes’ plain folks.

In fact, to prove it, the Iranian government has recommended several nice properties for the new U.S. mission:

1) A lovely brownstone at the intersection of I’d-Rather-Be-Waging-Holy-War Boulevard and Jihad-Forever Parkway. It features low walls that won’t impede any sudden surge of “students,” I mean guests.

2) A spacious Mediterranean-style villa next to the Suicide Belt Factory on Martyrdom Lane. It has many extra rooms for any sudden surge of “students,” I mean guests.

3) A cozy three-story brick structure smack dab in the hottest section of Avenge-The-Crusades Avenue. The walls produce a delightful echo of any “Death to America” chants that might emanate from the street.

… Now isn’t that nice? Can’t we all just get along?