Gassed out

You know the energy crisis is bad when … ExxonMobil is selling off its neighborhood gas stations!

That’s right, fellow gas addicts. The most profitable corporation in the world ($40 billion last year) is unloading its 2,200 retail outlets.

“We are in a very, very challenging market. Margins are reduced,” a spokesman said. “We feel the best way for us to grow and compete is through our distributor network.”

In plain English -- a language rarely spoken by corporate spokesmen -- that means ExxonMobil’s service stations have not been able to pass along higher costs to customers. So over the side they go.

Yikes! What’s next, the chairman of ExxonMobil riding a bicycle to work because he can’t afford to fill his tank?

... Does anyone know a nice Amish couple who could sell me a horse and buggy?