Heavier than air

It’s about time: Air France is going to start charging double fare for “plus-sized” passengers who can’t fit into a single seat.

This is good news for everyone who weighs less than 400 pounds.

The rest of the copycat airline industry will probably adopt this rule within weeks.

When that magic day arrives, your chances of being scrunched between a massive collection of cellulite and the plane’s aluminum wall will be much smaller.

Organizations for the obese will squawk, of course, but let ‘em holler. After all, this is a safety issue too.

If your plane landed unexpectedly in, say, the Hudson River and you had to crawl over one of these mounds of pounds, let’s just say your heirs would be arguing over your will right about now.

And how would you like to be the pilot having to continually correct the flight path because the plane kept listing to one side?

No, my friends, some people were not meant to fly. And if they do insist on going airborne, they should be gently steered toward cargo carriers.

If any of this offends you, well, you’re probably one of those people who has to board and airplane with the assistance of a forklift.

Happy flying. And always remember, Wendy’s does have a salad bar too.