Oh, no, not football!

OK, now I believe the recession is for real.

The NFL might have to black out a bunch of games in their home markets this season because the host stadiums have not sold out!

I’m serious! According to all-knowing, all-seeing AP: “The San Diego Chargers had an exhibition game blacked out for the first time since 2006 and will have Friday’s game blacked out as well. They say regular-season blackouts could be on the way as well. Other teams that could have trouble selling out their home games include the Detroit Lions and Oakland Raiders, who both had blackouts last season.”

Congress and the president cannot let this happen. They need to stop wasting time on health care, Iraq, swine flu, etc. and focus on this. I recommend an emergency three-point program, sort of like a field goal in the nick of time, if you catch my drift:

1) A cash-for-clunkers program in ticket sales. If two crummy teams like the Lions and Browns are playing each other, the feds should offer rebates for any fans stupid enough, I mean loyal enough, to buy tickets to this awful contest.

2) Heavy subsidies, tax breaks and other goodies for millionaire owners trying to build ever-bigger stadiums or jump to other cities for better deals. … Huh, we’re already doing this? Well, good, I guess.

3) Leaning on law enforcement to cut the NFL a little slack on personal conduct. Look, just because some arrogant jock gets a DWI or slaps around a lady or fires a gun in a crowded nightclub, that’s no reason to suspend him. Hey, what if he’s the team’s best pass rusher? Let’s think about our priorities here.

If America will kick this three-pointer through the pylons of society, we can get through this crisis. I mean, what else are we going to do on Sunday, go to church?