Broken record

Apparently all the important world records have already been set.

We are reduced to competition like “the highest number of people drawing simultaneously.”

You read that right, Guinness-breath. A bunch of Hungarians got together on Sunday to see if they could collectively make their mark on history by becoming “the highest number of people drawing simultaneously.”

They did, in fact. A total of 5,317 of these losers, I mean world record-holders, gathered together to draw in chalk along the Andrassy Boulevard in Budapest. They smashed the previous record of 3,652 people drawing in one place at one time. (Personally, I knew that record would never last.)

What’s funny, or I mean even funnier than the goofy record itself, is that this mass drawing was held during something called European Mobility Week to — now get this — raise environmental awareness.

First of all, drawing on pavement does not promote mobility. I’m pretty sure you have to sit or squat in one place to do that.

Secondly, how in the name of Gaia does this “raise environmental awareness”? If anything, it sounds kind of eco-unfriendly. The first rain will wash all that chalk into storm sewers and probably kill salamanders or something.

If those darned Europeans want to “raise environmental awareness,” they should do what we do:

Observe something called Earth Day in which we drive our gas-guzzlers to a a pretty park to sip overpriced water from non-biodegradable bottles and walk all over the grass and listen to speakers telling us to reduce our carbon footprint.

At least the sidewalks are free of silly scribblings when it’s over.