Princess Diana: Dazzling, but still dead

I guess every country has to have one.

We had the Kennedy assassination. The Brits have the Princess Diana investigation.

Both are cut and dried. But both have hashed and rehashed more than anything except the Old Testament — and only because the first part of the Bible has been around longer.

Oh sure, lots of people think otherwise. But then, lots of people believe in astrology or think that reality TV is reality. Some folks just can’t accept obvious explanations.

To each his own. But if you’d like to save yourself some time, let me help you out:

JFK was not killed in an elaborate, multi-sniper conspiracy by the Russians/Mafia/Cubans that has been cleverly covered up for 44 years.

He was shot by a lone nut with a cheap rifle on the sixth floor of the building where he worked.

It’s a shabby way for a great man to be erased from history, but that’s what happened.

On the other side of the pond, Princess Diana and boyfriend Dodi Fayed were not murdered by the British secret service/the Mafia/Israeli agents in 1997 to cover up Di’s pregnancy or prevent her from marrying a Muslim or because Prince Charles was big-time jealous.

She and Dodi died because their loser of a chauffeur was drunk and careless while speeding away from the paparazzi and slammed their Mercedes into a concrete pillar.

It’s a shabby way for a glamorous couple to be erased from history, but that’s what happened.

JFK, at least, was a president. So his murder would have to be thoroughly investigated.

Princess Diana was not a world leader. Basically, she was really good looking and famous for being famous.

Incredibly, the Brits are going through a complex investigation about what really occurred in that tunnel in Paris.

Have at it, mate. I guess they could be wasting their time on something worse, like why their national sport of soccer is so boring.

But in the end, they will find that Di and Dodi died because their loser of a chauffeur was drunk and careless while speeding away from the paparazzi and slammed their Mercedes into a concrete pillar.