I'm with stupid

It was just another typical week in Texas:

A stupid 17-year-old was busted at a border crossing in El Paso for marijuana smuggling when she tried to use six huge cans of vegetables to hide her booty — the pot, not her booty. The cans are normally used by restaurants to hold about 5 pounds of veggies.

Border guards said the whole thing looked shaky from the start. They quickly found that the cans were stuffed with 25 pounds of pot.

A border official said, “These cases clearly illustrate that smuggling organizations will use any means imaginable in their attempts to introduce contraband into the United States.”

Uh, actually these cases clearly illustrate that some smugglers are as dumb as a bag of cow crap and should get extra time in prison just for being morons.

----------------------------------

Anthony Falco of Taylor was sentenced to 60 years (!) in the pen for his 10th (!) DWI since 1979.

Falco, clearly not a brain surgeon, also has convictions for theft, forgery and family violence assault.

I wonder if the judge said to him, “Tony, we cut you some slack the first eight or nine times. … But doggone it, with this 10th one, you’ve finally gone too far!”

----------------------------------

A registered sex offender is running for mayor of Wilmer.

“People need to realize that people make mistakes, and they need to look past those mistakes and forgive and move on,” said James Sliter, 42.

Sliter got caught in a sting when he went to a home where he thought he was going to have sex with a 15-year-old girl he’d been talking to on the Internet.

Wilmer has about 4,300 people. Apparently, a lot of them are idiots.

“He is a concerned citizen who wants to help this town,” said family friend Lynne Thompson. “That’s what counts.”

“They set him up,” said his neighbor, Lonnie Walden. “I’d never go see a 15-year-old girl but it’s still wrong how they set people up ... . I think there’s going to be a bunch of stink over it.”

“He’s not someone going to schools looking for kids to molest,” said Kara Martos.

… Maybe that last gal has a point. If Sliter gets elected, when a school principal needs someone to talk to the kiddos about our democratic system of government and someone to warn them about drooling sex creeps, one phone call takes care of both.

-----------------------------------------

Police suspect that a 2-year-old boy who died in La Joya from a fractured skull was killed when a “morbidly obese relative” fell on the child.

The Hidalgo County Sheriff has called the death “suspicious.”

Other people are calling it “disgusting.”