Valentine's Day massacre

Does India have an equivalent to the Christmas Grinch for Valentine’s Day? Apparently so.

Some Hindu hard-liners in India think that Western concepts like Valentine’s Day undermine the country’s traditions and values. And these hard-liners are playing hardball with our happy holiday.

They burned Valentine’s Day cards in New Delhi and chanted, “Down with Valentine.” (Not very original.) In the nearby city of Lucknow (which sounds like an unusual name for a town in India — or any country, for that matter) they threatened to beat up couples showing Valentine-ish affection. (Sort of like replacing Cupid’s arrow with a billy club.)

Wow; these folks do not seem like a fun bunch. How would you like to be married to one? They make our fundamentalists seem tame.

Fortunately, some brave Indians are plunging ahead and celebrating the Big Day anyway.

The Associated Press quoted one young college student as saying, “What right do these people have to set the do’s and don’ts for young lovers on Valentine’s Day? We have planned a massive party and will go ahead with it.”

Go for it, dude! If the hardliners come after you, tell them that a family on the next block is having a birthday party … or some young hellions down the street are dancing.

That should distract them long enough for you to bring out the heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.