Don't be like Mike

If you’re tempted to feel sorry for boxer Mike Tyson, don’t.

True, the man who was the youngest heavyweight champion of the world (age 20) and held the undisputed crown for four years has fallen far. Reeaally far.

In addition to everything else you’ve read/heard about “Iron Mike,” his latest bout with the law has flattened him.

He’s facing a max of four years and three months in Arizona after pleading guilty to drug possession, driving under the influence and being an idiot.

OK, I made up that last charge. But the first two are legit.

The only questions now are exactly how much time he will serve and whether it will be in an Arizona state prison or Maricopa County Jail. I’m voting for the jail.

It’s run by Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the most controversial sheriff in America. In Sheriff Joe’s jail, life ain’t too easy. In fact, it’s kind of unpleasant.

Among other indignities, the inmates have to wear pink underwear, just so they don’t think they’re tough.

They eat meals that cost taxpayers only 30 cents a day. On that budget, I think you can pretty much rule out blackened redfish, deep-dish pizza, fresh fruit or gourmet coffee.

On top of everything, the bland cuisine is not enhanced by extras like salt or mustard.

If you obey laws and pay taxes, you gotta like that approach.

Anyhow, back to the first sentence in this blog. You can’t feel sorry for Mike Tyson for three reasons.

1) He had every chance in the world to lead a great life, and he blew it. Think of all the people who never had that chance.

2) He didn’t just make one mistake. He committed blunder and blunder until his life and career were in shambles.

3) Don't ever forget that he was convicted of rape in Indiana in 1992. That's a despicable crime.

As far as I’m concerned, Mike Tyson can bake in the Arizona sun for a long, long time. Good riddance to that loser.

He makes other fallen jocks like Floyd Landis or Michael Vick look like statesmen in comparison.