Packing it in

Adam “Pacman” Jones has found something to do while he is suspended from the NFL.

As you may recall, the talented but troubled cornerback for the Tennessee Titans has been arrested five times and been involved in 11 police investigations since he was drafted in April 2005.

That is a record for any NFL player who isn’t a Cincinnati Bengal. The latest incident, and it is hard to keep track of them, involves felony charges following a shooting at a Las Vegas strip club that left a bouncer paralyzed.

Anyhow, back to Pacman’s latest passion. He wants to become a professional wrestler, with Total Nonstop Action.

Reluctant as we all are to questions a guy’s career choice, this one seems shaky.

Pro wrestlers are big, beefy guys who slam each other around the ring. Sometimes out of it.

Pacman is listed at 5’10” and 187 pounds. That’s not small by average standards. By wrestling standards, it is.

If you’re a football player who needs to stay healthy, pro wrestling seems like a good way to become a former football player.

If Pacman goes ahead and climbs into the ring with these hulks, he is going to need a new nickname. Some thoughts:

1) Squished-Flat Man.

2) Smacked Man.

3) Piñata Man.

4) What Were You Thinking, Man?

5) The Guy Who Used To Be An NFL Cornerback But Blew It Because He Is Incredibly Stupid and Self-Destructive.