Big Mac, Big Game

We’ve had a lot of dreary news in the news lately; it’s time for a diversion to the world of sports:

A) There is hope after all. Mark McGwire stepped up to the plate for his first Hall of Fame vote, and he got a high, hard one that sent him sprawling. Despite hitting more home runs (583) than everyone but six players in the game, Big Mac’s name appeared only 128 of 545 ballots. Fans, a .234 average like that just won’t get you into Cooperstown.

The culprit of course, was juice, and I’m not talking about orange or apple. As most people who don’t believe in the Easter Bunny have figured out by now, Markie sort of bent the rules a little to hit a bunch of those dingers.

In today’s society, however, bending the rules and acting like a jerk are often OK — if not celebrated. It was easy to envision McGwire backing in the first time. Voters would say “583!” or “Everybody did it!”

It’s gratifying to know that we still have some limits. McGwire will slide in eventually, maybe after a carefully worded admission/apology. But he and the sport needed this wakeup call.

Memo to Barry, Sammy and Raffy: The same fate awaits you. I will enjoy watching you squirm.

.................

B) College football has a new national champion, and it isn’t Ohio State. I didn’t have a dog in this fight (unlike last year!) but I generally root for underdogs, so go Gators. That’s especially true when the favorite acts if the trophy should just be handed over without wasting time on actually playing the game.

As Gomer once said, “Surprise, surprise!”

Yet a nagging problem remains in the world of college football. The championship game has a dorky name. Worse yet, it’s a long dorky name that repeats a four-syllable word: “Bowl Championship Series national championship game.”

Wow, who thought that one up, someone in the Pentagon?

College football fans want something snappier, and who can blame them? How about:

1) The Booster Bowl

2) The Football Factory Bowl

3) The Scholar-Athlete (wink) Bowl

4) The Yet Another Bowl

5) The I Can’t Believe My Team Isn’t In This Bowl

and finally …

6) The Climactic Showdown Between Two Schools With Really Low Graduation Rates Bowl

That’s my six-pack; do you have any good names?