Name game

As expected, Bernard Hopkins outpointed Ronald Wright in their light-heavyweight bout last weekend in Las Vegas. Even though Hopkins was 42 and — like most older fighters — had come out of retirement, he had Wright on the defensive the whole 10 rounds.

I wasn’t surprised. You see, Wright’s nickname is “Winky.” A boxer with a nickname like that is never going to go far. Especially against a pugilist nicknamed "The Executioner."

In fact, that’s a problem these days — lousy nicknames for boxers. Need I mention Eric “Butterbean” Esch. What’s he supposed to do, smother you in gravy?

Back in the day, it wasn’t like this. Fighters had fearsome names, and you thought twice about climbing into the ring with them.

I’m talking Larry “The Easton Assassin” Holmes, James “Bonecrusher” Smith and John "The Beast” Mugabi.

Then there’s the greatest boxing nickname of all time, Carl “The Truth” Williams.

I just hope Osama bin Laden isn’t sitting in a cave somewhere in north Pakistan thumbing through the sports pages and saying, “Look, Abdul, the Americans have a fighter named ‘Jerry “Wimpy” Halstead.’ Let’s launch another attack on these weakling infidels.”

Just once, I like to see Osama get leveled by Mitch “Blood” Green. Then he’d know we weren’t a country to be trifled with.