Bodies, buzzards, blecchh

If you live near Texas State University by San Marcos, you might be thinking, “Thank God for the buzzards.”

You see, if it weren’t for those flying scroungers, TSU would be well on its way to setting up the nation’s largest … “body farm.”

In case you’ve never watched CSI, a “body farm” is where researchers put human bodies outside and watch them, uh, decompose. They also bury a few.

By doing that, they can observe what happens to bodies over time in different environments. This helps cops when they find a body after weeks or months and want to know how it transitioned from a person to a corpse.

It sounds scientific and important and all that, but I’m basically thinking, “Yuck!”

Back to the buzzards. TSU’s plans have been shelved because it seems a body farm would attract buzzards (duh!) and the birds could create a danger for planes using the San Marcos Municipal Airport.

Undaunted, TSU officials will be searching for a new location. Good luck, I guess.

But since this great land of ours already has two “body farms” — one operated by the University of Tennessee at Knoxville and the other by Western Carolina University in Cullowhee, N.C. — do we really need a third one … in Texas?

What about property values? The town's image? And can you imagine what fans from other colleges will say to taunt TSU teams on road games? You don’t want to go there, my friend.

In closing, I would basically like to say once again … “Yuck!”