Big Blue

Maybe Chris D. Parent can live his dream after all.

All he wants to do is serve the good people of Bellevue, Neb., as a police officer. Now, thanks to the Nebraska Court of Appeals, he can. His firing has been overturned.

Chris didn’t take a bribe or cuff around a crook. All he did was eat. A lot.

His 2005 Nebraska driver’s license listed him at 5’9” and 300 pounds.

That's a lot of beef to pack on a short frame. I’ve seen refrigerators and fireplugs with slimmer profiles.

Chris was canned in 2007 for failing to maintaining a “high level of physical, mental and emotional conditioning.” Duh.

Actually, there are some advantages to having a police officer who’s, well, big-boned:

-- He can be his own partner for patrol duty.

-- He could take a bullet or two in a gunfight and stay on his feet.

-- When a hostage situation demands a human shield, he’s perfect.

-- Ditto for when a hostage situation demands a battering ram.

-- If a suspect resists arrest, he could just sit on him.

… Anyway, if you ever pass through Bellevue, say hello to Chris.

You can probably find him in a donut shop.