tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-380384612012-02-16T15:21:13.763-06:00Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.comBlogger6501100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-72264565173366266872010-05-14T21:05:00.001-05:002010-05-14T21:07:33.153-05:00

As the oil spill in the Gulf gets worse, it gets crazier too.The latest twist is reports of 8-inch (!) tar balls on a Louisiana beach.Nearby, a biologist found about “25 nickel-sized tar balls per square foot.”Wow; that’s a lot of crude.But when it balls up, at least it’s easier to clean up.Sort of, of course. It’s still incredibly icky and gooey, but at least it’s not floating in the Gulf or

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-62084712176255112312010-05-13T15:17:00.003-05:002010-05-13T16:11:28.679-05:00

Should Lawrence Taylor be kicked out of the NFL Hall of Fame?If he’s convicted of having sex with a 16-year-old prostitute, I say not only yes, but hell yes.The problem, unfortunately, is that NFL rules don’t allow that.As it stands now, you make the Hall based on your play. What you do off the field or after you retire doesn’t matter.It should.I know this opens a huge can of worms for any kind

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-41546089134491963632010-05-12T16:28:00.003-05:002010-05-12T16:34:04.265-05:00

If fans were hoping that Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing would lose a coveted award because he was exposed as a drug cheat, they got blindsided.Incredibly, he won a second vote for NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year.Granted, it was by a smaller margin – 18-13 over Buffalo safety Jairus Byrd. But as they say in sports, a win’s a win.Last year, Cushing beat Byrd 39-6.So the fact that he was

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-3619920254736156702010-05-11T16:24:00.004-05:002010-05-11T16:42:58.246-05:00

Once again, the depravity of the criminal mind astounds us ordinary folk.Up in Edina, Minn., some twisted souls are even … stealing the dog poop bags thoughtfully provided by the city.Sad but true. And as a result of this brazen thievery, the city will no longer be able to supply the bags for free to hard-working residents.It did seem too good to last. I guess now Edina-ites will have to use an

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-67382469534864387052010-05-10T15:26:00.003-05:002010-05-10T15:40:40.204-05:00

Finally, one innovative jail has figured out a way to save taxpayers a few bucks and kill two birds with one stone. (Actually three.)The idea? Have inmates pick up road-kill.This is the best ideas in corrections to come along since orange jumpsuits.Think of the many benefits:1) Instead of using highly paid highway workers to fritter away their time on carcass patrol, jail inmates do it for the

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-33191081713201480972010-05-07T19:37:00.001-05:002010-05-07T19:38:49.188-05:00

This came past the spam filter the other day, and it is worth passing along.It is a prayer that all of us should offer up now and then – or a lot:“Heavenly Father, help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single father who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with his

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-2536413410767628992010-05-06T17:11:00.003-05:002010-05-06T17:15:54.661-05:00

Just in time for Mothers Day (or not):Scented candles with that fragrance you’ve been yearning for: White Castle hamburgers.I’m not kidding, though I wish I was.If you haven’t had the pleasure, White Castle hamburgers are small collections of grease, salt and cholesterol.And that’s not as bad as it sounds. At the right time, they taste great.As the famous slacker movie illustrated, one of those

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-79224618093077274702010-05-05T14:43:00.002-05:002010-05-05T14:48:51.483-05:00

It’s a familiar argument about leniency vs. lowering the boom:How should police handle fans who disrupt ball games by running onto the field?Some punk did this Monday night in Philadelphia in a game against the Cardinals.One of Philly’s finest tased the twerp, which upset some people.They thought it was much too harsh. The lad’s dad said it was “definitely uncalled for.”No word yet on whether the

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-90831411369765705022010-05-04T14:50:00.004-05:002010-05-04T16:46:30.113-05:00

It is difficult to feel sorry for Starbucks or any food conglomerate, but these days anything is possible.For example, the coffee giant has been sued by some idiot who says he got second-degree burns from tea that was too hot.Good grief; it’s a hot beverage. If you chug it like a sody pop or spill it on your wee-wee, pain will result.Again, what part of “hot” do you not understand?This pathetic

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-61029816234692368602010-05-03T16:39:00.002-05:002010-05-03T16:44:53.333-05:00

Let’s face it: We got very lucky with the car bomb in Times Square.Just like the failed underpants bombing on the Christmas Day flight.And Lord knows how many other close calls.On the one hand, you have to be incredibly grateful for these breaks.In both cases, many, many people would have been murdered.But you have to wonder: How much longer can our luck hold?Terrorists are evil, not stupid.

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-83282077692281868112010-04-30T20:38:00.004-05:002010-04-30T20:43:25.023-05:00

Further proof that the recession is not over yet:Critters are being evicted from pet cemeteries!Yikes! I didn’t even know that was possible.I’ve heard of being evicted from a hotel or restaurant (and even been tossed a time or two myself, but that’s another blog). But who ever heard of being kicked out of a graveyard?I thought that once you were buried, either man or beast, you, uh, pretty well

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-16850459991434940492010-04-29T20:31:00.002-05:002010-04-29T20:34:49.972-05:00

Now this is ironic, sort of:Illegal immigrants are leaving Arizona … because of the uproar over a new law that says they need to to skedaddle if they are in the states illegally. Even though it was already supposed to be illegal to be in this country illegally."Nobody wants to pick us up," said one frustrated Mexican day laborer in Arizona. So he and his friends are planning another border

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-79428496667215322322010-04-28T19:52:00.001-05:002010-04-28T19:55:02.625-05:00

Just what the heck is wrong with Ohio?Lately, a lot.You might think that the Buckeye State if full of solid, hard-working (and frankly boring) Midwesterners.Think again.Exhibit A would be the recent outbreak of fleas that shut down the Fairfield County Department of Health.You read that right: A health department closed because of vermin.What’s next, a restaurant cook dying of starvation?And who

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-3510697173778507372010-04-27T15:43:00.002-05:002010-04-27T15:46:22.153-05:00

So how do we turn our fat, lazy kids into lean, mean achievin’ machines?A county in California may ban toys with junk food – you know, the trinkets given out with Happy Meals and other dietary disasters.The ban would apply to any kid’s meal over 485 calories or loaded up with salt or sugar. In other words, most of the menu on every fast food chain in America.In theory, the ban would motivate fast

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-69153473939410363202010-04-26T16:36:00.003-05:002010-04-26T16:43:03.731-05:00

Here we go again: Another silly research project that tells us things we already knew:Like how smoking cigs, drinking booze, eating junk food and being a couch potato will make you die early.Duh!Who is surprised by this bombshell? Even the people who sell you tequila and Twinkies know they’re killing you in slow-motion. They just want to make a few bucks off you before you croak.Jeez, the only

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-85965264600024706622010-04-23T20:06:00.003-05:002010-04-23T20:14:35.912-05:00

Isn't it time for former presidential candidate John Edwards to shut up and go away?Now we learn that Johnny Boy will testify under oath “about his relationship with mistress Rielle Hunter, facing questions about the infamous sex tape and whether he spent campaign funds to hide the relationship.”This is too much of a good thing.There was a time when this sex scandal, like all sex scandals, was

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-40528505048262636872010-04-22T16:58:00.003-05:002010-04-22T17:02:44.805-05:00

Sometimes our judicial system needs to learn to leave well enough alone.Like the drug suspect running from police who was found hiding in … a pool of liquid manure.And neck-deep at that … for at least an hour!This, my friends, is not a problem.The punk should have been allowed to stay in the stinky lagoon as long as he wanted.In fact, maybe a while longer than he wanted. It would teach him a

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-91822892009439674762010-04-21T15:42:00.003-05:002010-04-21T16:10:31.463-05:00

So Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is gonna get some down time next season – six game on the bench.Some fans may think this is unfair because Big Ben, as he is so charmingly nicknamed, wasn’t convicted of a crime – or even charged with one.Still, a 20-year-old woman basically said he raped her in a toilet in a Georgia bar when she was drunk.That is not the kind of thing you put on your

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-80147455387609008952010-04-20T15:05:00.003-05:002010-04-20T15:14:02.126-05:00

The world is a better place today because Darryl Durr was executed yesterday. He was a lowdown killer – and a serial rapist – who doesn’t deserve any sympathy.But the lawyers for this otherwise forgettable punk deserve credit for coming up with a new excuse to avoid The Needle.They claimed that ol’ Darryl was – get this – allergic to the anesthetic used in Ohio executions.So they said that the

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-66658939993661609362010-04-19T16:07:00.002-05:002010-04-19T16:11:14.136-05:00

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, along comes news of “male girdles.”Or “mirdles” as they are called.Sad but true. An Australian company is marketing the darned things, which is appropriate because this turns traditional ideals of manhood upside down.They’re pitching it to businessmen who want to look trim without actually exercising or passing on that second piece of pie.A

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-79698349325517378772010-04-16T21:27:00.002-05:002010-04-16T21:31:31.008-05:00

If you were thinking of jumping on a plane this weekend and flitting off to the French Riviera for some sun ’n’ champagne, you’d better shift to Plan B.Seems a giant ash cloud from a volcano in Iceland has shut down most air traffic over Europe. And could keep it shut down for a while.This is serious, folks.Two-thirds of Europe’s flights have been cancelled. For that matter, also nixed are many

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-23888525769295716002010-04-15T15:35:00.001-05:002010-04-15T15:37:50.792-05:00

2010 is shaping up to be a bad year for marriage. The latest blow is the news that famed talk show host Larry King wants a divorce from his wife.Actually, this shouldn’t be much of a surprise. The Inquisitive One has done this seven times before.Leapin’ lizards, Larry!Marriage isn’t like renting an apartment. You don’t bail out when you want a change of scenery.And sadly – but typically – this

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-7307372418639068742010-04-14T15:08:00.002-05:002010-04-14T15:17:53.800-05:00

Why the hell not? Why shouldn’t American men who grow mustaches get a tax break?That’s what the American Mustache Institute is advocating, and I say it’s about damn time.Almost every other interest group gets a goodie from Uncle Sam.We need to correct this lingering problem in our society – if the words “fairness” and “equality” carved beneath the Statue of Liberty mean anything. (Uh, they are

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-57875358515780720132010-04-13T12:41:00.002-05:002010-04-13T12:44:13.404-05:00

Of course not. That’s ridiculous. Why would anyone even suggest that?Oh, that’s right, the 0-7 start.The fewest runs scored in either league.Lance Berkman’s bum knee and the realization that he won’t get off the DL soon.Nagging worries about Roy O and his so-so record last year.A lineup filled with older players on the downward arcs of their careers.A tight-fisted owner who is unlikely to stick a

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-136909697023929782010-04-12T15:26:00.003-05:002010-04-12T15:30:30.695-05:00

So it’s true. The Good Lord does answer prayers – like my plea on Friday not to let Tiger Woods win the Masters.OK, maybe it wasn’t heavenly intervention. After all, the Man Upstairs has lots of important stuff on His plate.Still, it was sweet to see good ol’ Phil don the green jacket Sunday while Tiger went off to continue his sex rehab.Phil is one of the rare nice guys in big-time sports. His

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-56272218233679034912010-04-09T21:23:00.001-05:002010-04-09T21:26:49.506-05:00

I said it before and I’ll say it again:Please, God, make sure that the winner of the Masters golf tournament is not named Tiger Woods.I am not being vindictive here.I know that Tiger’s a great golfer – probably the best ever.Now that he’s out of sex rehab (!) he will resume his relentless march toward Jack Nicklaus’ magic record of 18 majors.This guy picks up trophies as routinely as we pick up

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-73902745713070427872010-04-08T16:01:00.004-05:002010-04-08T16:07:11.228-05:00

Finally, some good news in the world of crime.Turns out that a bicycling bandit didn’t take down that Dollar General store in Port Neches last month.The manager of said establishment has been arrested filing a false police report about that bizarre incident to cover up her own theft of the store’s profits.I, for one, am relieved. I don’t want to live in a place where robbers rides bicycles … and

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-16643238573828588382010-04-07T15:56:00.001-05:002010-04-07T16:00:09.460-05:00

OK, the justice business is hard. But it’s not that hard.Why is it that so many sentences are too harsh or too lenient? How hard can it be to split the difference?Exhibit A (I just love courtroom lingo) would be the Colorado judge who was fired after issuing an arrest warrant for a teenager with an overdue library DVD.Wow. Put down the gavel and slowly back away.You’d really have to be a charter

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-80395577088439587622010-04-06T17:25:00.003-05:002010-04-06T17:30:14.276-05:00

Hold the champagne and turn off “Happy Days Are Here Again.”The recession is not over yet – and the latest trend toward plastic surgery proves it.According to one source, “hundreds of people in the Chicago area are turning to plastic surgery to keep or land a job.”And you know what they say: If it’s happening in Chicago, it’s probably happening all over.(Except, we hope, for the part about city

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-14265726370952830242010-04-05T16:18:00.004-05:002010-04-05T18:09:08.978-05:00

Tonight will be one of those heartwarming, tear-jerking stories that sports fans will talk about for years.The scrappy underdog Butler is going against the Evil Empire – a.k.a. Duke.We all know how we want it to end – just like the movie “Hoosiers,” which of course was filmed in the Butler gym.The skinny, undersized nerds will somehow prevail after all.They’ll fall behind, of course, because that

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-45888681244534801432010-04-02T20:15:00.003-05:002010-04-02T20:20:54.387-05:00

So it is true: Silence is golden. Reeaally golden.As in the 10 million bucks that one of Tiger’s mistresses raked in for keeping her yap shut.That’s a lot of cabbage for doing nothing. Heck, it’s a lot for doing anything.Rachel Uchitel sure hit the jackpot. She won’t have to go trolling for Sugar Daddies for, well, for the rest of her life.Now I know why these gals announced press conferences

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-66567842506678674592010-04-01T14:04:00.001-05:002010-04-01T14:06:26.795-05:00

1) “Houston Astros expected to dominate National League this year”2) “Reality TV shows coming to an end”3) “Hurricane forecasters admit they flip coins to make predictions” 4) “Obama says deficit must be slashed immediately with major spending cuts”5) “Glenn Beck says, ‘Deep down inside, I really respect Obama’ ” 6) “Terrell Owens confesses: ‘I was a jerk’ “7) “Gov. Rick Perry, famous for great

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-5260649478752144882010-03-31T15:41:00.002-05:002010-03-31T15:54:08.099-05:00

You have to give biker/jerk Jesse James this much:He has done something that didn’t seem possible: He has topped Tiger Woods on the Ickiness Scale.Jesse, of course, has become infamous lately for shaming wife Sandra Bullock with a series of sleazy affairs.While ol’ Jess may not have been able to beat Tiger in the numbers game – and who could match a pro athlete’s stamina? – he made it up (sort of

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-65056189948774139002010-03-30T16:31:00.001-05:002010-03-30T16:36:12.941-05:00

Finally, prayers for politicians.If you’re tired of praying for peace, salvation and other big-picture goals, you can lower your sights. Way down.The Church of England has created special “prayers to help confused and cynical voters ahead of Britain's upcoming election.”A typical one reads, "Help me not to be cynical about politics and politicians, help me to remember that my vote can make a

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-47942441783079530862010-03-29T18:26:00.003-05:002010-03-29T18:34:38.497-05:00

It’s happened again: Another non-surprise is treated as, well, some kind of surprise.The latest shocker? Singer Ricky Martin is gay.To anyone who knew a smattering about pop culture, this is not news. Even before Ricky came out, the rumors had been out there for years.It was just like the questions that surrounded other gay stars before they decided to be straightforward about not being

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-80819200142000096412010-03-26T21:09:00.005-05:002010-03-26T22:43:37.900-05:00

So what was the nuttiest-but-real book title of the year?None other than "Crocheting Adventures with Hyperbolic Planes."But you probably knew that. Heck, you may even have the manuscript in your home library (assuming you have a home and a library).The competition was the annual Diagram Prize in Britain. The only rule is that the book title has to be real, not something goofy like "What Kind of

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-42134645526288826452010-03-25T17:10:00.002-05:002010-03-25T17:14:16.561-05:00

Some things just don’t mix, like oil and water.Or kids’ playgrounds and fake jails.Incredibly, however, that’s exactly what was going on in New York City, of all places -- by a public housing project, of all places again.The other day a mom noticed the fake jail and complained. The Housing Authority bureaucrats, ever responsive, promptly fixed the problem.They removed the word “jail” and took out

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-4742333678403184212010-03-24T16:08:00.001-05:002010-03-24T16:11:36.255-05:00

It’s happened again: another outbreak of lazy criminals.What is happening to this once-great land of ours?In the latest affront to all that is decent, a couple of bank robbers in Fairfield, Conn., called ahead so the employees would have a bag of money ready!Sweet Mother of Pearl.What are they teaching the punks these days in Crime 101?A bank is not like a pizza joint. You don’t phone in an order

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-81373378814441468082010-03-23T16:30:00.004-05:002010-03-23T18:56:22.314-05:00

Microsoft genius Bill Gates is a nice guy. A little nerdy, but nice.But I still wouldn’t give him a nuclear reactor.And this, unfortunately, is what Billy and the Japanese company Toshiba are planning to do.This is like letting little kids play with matches; nothing good can come from it.Think about it: Bill Gates, smartest and richest man in the world, teaming up with a computer giant like

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-59228456008403853332010-03-22T16:37:00.004-05:002010-03-22T16:44:36.130-05:00

Tiger Woods has finally done something right.And no, I am not talking about his latest confession.He finally dumped spin-doctor Ari Fleischer.Ari, for those sports fans who don’t get out too often, was the press secretary for President Bush.As such, he perfected the political art of saying nothing while pretending to say everything – and even sounding sincere about it.We do not need this from

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-58863078161237694412010-03-19T21:50:00.003-05:002010-03-19T21:53:52.058-05:00

Poor Octomom needs cash again.She is way behind in her house payments – about a half-million behind – and needs to get some Benjamins.No telling how she got into this bind. Then again, it could have something to WITH HAVING A FOOTBALL TEAM OF CHILDREN without any visible means of support. Or even a hubby to bring home a paycheck now and then.Anyhoo, to get through this little jam, she’s making

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-2484486284505170492010-03-18T14:53:00.007-05:002010-03-18T16:31:57.648-05:00

There’s such a thing as being too organized.Like the Japanese school that teaches students how to find marriage material.As the news story puts it, “The Infini school offers various classes for wannabe brides and grooms at a time when many people in Japan are either shunning the institution of marriage or are finding it very difficult to hook up with a partner.“The school … teaches students how

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-35424593955842710412010-03-17T14:58:00.003-05:002010-03-17T15:02:14.986-05:00

Of all the ways to go: Being killed while jogging on a beach by an airplane making a crash landing.That’s tough. Even more unfortunate were the comments by the pilot – who survived the collision, unlike the jogger.The story, briefly: Malfunctioning airplane – actually a kit-built job – has to land on the beach near Hilton Head, S.C.So the pilot puts her down – right on the jogger,

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-34117762728008577412010-03-16T15:19:00.005-05:002010-03-16T18:27:23.955-05:00

The times, they are a-changin’:The U.S. Army will stop training its recruits how to use bayonets.Holy chow hall! This is the biggest shift in our military training since G.I.s stopped learning how to say in German or Japanese, “Put down your guns, you filthy sons of pigs; we have you surrounded!”Generation after generation of draftees and enlisted men have learned how to wield carefully sharpened

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-12836530900946729452010-03-15T13:09:00.003-05:002010-03-15T13:15:14.245-05:00

Think the recovery is real?Hah! The recession still rules, as proved by the boom in bicycle-related crimes from criminals who apparently can’t afford cars.In Beaumont, the cops had to pull over one of these desperadoes last week.And it was not a piece-of-cake traffic stop. The biker in question was allegedly packin’ drugs and “fought with officers to the point that an officer needs assistance

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-32024386015405141172010-03-12T21:56:00.003-06:002010-03-12T22:03:16.108-06:00

Just what we need; a fifth spinoff of “The Real Housewives of (fill in the blank).”Is this a great country or what?Some people thought that one of these monstrosities – the “Real Housewives of Orange County” – was enough.No such luck.It was soon followed by the “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” ad nauseum, and now the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”This, I believe, is too much of a good thing.

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-84543901524667623602010-03-11T17:04:00.002-06:002010-03-11T17:08:31.278-06:00

Whatever happened to the good ol’ days when druggies were content to smoke a joint or snort a line?Now some pinheads in Florida are swallowing snail snot.No, that is not a misprint and you are not in a not a drug-induced hallucination. (At least I think you aren’t.)Snail snot. (Or mucus, if you wanna be fancy.)And not just any snail. We’re talking Giant African Snails that can grow up to 10

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-63598064852344171182010-03-10T16:26:00.013-06:002010-03-11T12:39:18.354-06:00

We have long known that the rich are not like you and me.Now we can add that the French are quite different too. As in, both the French president and his wife are having affairs!Sacre bleu! And we thought we had something goin’ on when a president was dallying with an intern.In France, that wouldn’t even budge the meter.The latest gossip from that strange land across the pond is that the French

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-35146759755652086502010-03-09T16:29:00.002-06:002010-03-09T17:02:24.906-06:00

It’s nice to know that some families still have their priorities right.Like the granny who camped out at a certain location for 43 hours to make sure her little grandson got what he wanted.How heartwarming.Was it a slot in a prestigious school?Or maybe a chance to apply for a coveted job?How about an opportunity to do something exotic, like take a cruise around the world?Uh, no, no and no.Granny

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-18808905081382465482010-03-08T13:54:00.002-06:002010-03-08T13:57:47.376-06:00

Some day in the not-too-distant future when your child asks you why the federal government is broke, you can say:“ 'Cause we spent all the money on stupid things like monkey research back in 2010.”It’s true, taxpayers. $71,623 in stimulus funds is being used to basically study what happens to monkeys when they get high on cocaine.(As with people, they dance a lot and talk too much.)A critic

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-72809702931501638822010-03-05T21:58:00.001-06:002010-03-05T22:01:16.617-06:00

Thank God a few people still have standards in this crazy mixed-up world.I refer, of course, to the courageous city-state of Singapore and its principled decision to continue its ban on chewing gum.As I told the rest of the old farts at the club, “Here, here! … A round of gin and tonics for all the chaps!”Good Lord; if you allow chewing gum you open the door to whistling and humming. By then you

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-41814333039763668092010-03-04T14:00:00.002-06:002010-03-04T14:06:13.323-06:00

We’ve all heard there is no free lunch.Now, there is apparently no free legroom either.Starting later this month, Continental Airlines plans to charge extra for coach customers who want a seat with more legroom.And it won’t be cheap, either.Extra legroom on a Houston-New York flight will set you back 59 bucks.Good grief! And you get only 7 more inches of space for laying out all that cash. It’s

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-24783449625016273382010-03-03T12:05:00.003-06:002010-03-03T12:10:28.239-06:00

The kids these days; what are you gonna do with ’em?I don’t have the answer to that age-old question, but I do know you should not let them serve as air traffic controllers!Incredibly, that apparently happened at JFK Airport last month. A controller let his kid make life-or-death decisions for a few minutes, just for laughs.In one exchange, a child can be heard saying, "JetBlue 171 contact

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-26019127105098016592010-03-02T16:56:00.001-06:002010-03-02T16:58:59.252-06:00

When you aren’t trolling our bodacious Web site for the latest election news tonight, flip over to KBMT-12 to see yours truly providing commentary from 6 to 10:30.I’ll be chipping in as anchors Kevin Steele and Jackie Simeon report on the returns as they roll in. Check us out; we’re going to have a political party!… Oh, and if you’re reading this before 7 and you haven’t voted, put down the

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-12091514596772862932010-03-01T16:43:00.003-06:002010-03-01T16:50:45.204-06:00

The winter Olympics are over, and the Russians are red.Not commie red. (That’s so ’80s.) Angry red.You see, Russia is a vast frozen wasteland not good for much except nuclear missile bases and winter sports.So usually, at the Winter Olympics, the Russians are a true superpower. This go-around, they looked like the Dallas Cowboys in a playoff game.The Russians won only 15 medals – with just three

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-82522157120733151772010-02-26T22:05:00.005-06:002010-02-26T23:22:21.349-06:00

Those darned Russians are at it again.They’re being mean to a poor, innocent chimpanzee!It’s true, animal lovers. Zhora, a chimp in a Russian zoo, has picked up some bad habits, such as smoking cigarettes and drinking beer. (No word if he’s hooked on reality shows too.)"The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze," the Komsomolskaya Pravda paper said. Well, duh!

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-46735234193678735672010-02-25T16:46:00.000-06:002010-02-25T16:48:52.374-06:00

The California legislature has finally taken care of this persistent myth that folks in the Golden State are trendy loons. I think.It has declared the first week of March as “Cuss-Free Week.”If you’re like me you’re thinking, “It’s about time!” (Or maybe, “What are those morons up to now?”)Hey, it’s worth a try. And this new effort might even raise a few bucks for a state that’s teetering on

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-3428604151502893102010-02-24T16:36:00.002-06:002010-02-24T16:38:53.475-06:00

When it comes to hijinks and practical jokes, you can’t top most jail inmates.Like the gang in Uniontown, Pa., that has repeatedly clogged up the jail’s toilets with sheets, pants, light bulbs, etc.What fun-loving pranksters!Unfortunately, the county commissioners there aren’t laughing. That’s probably because they have to continually pay big bucks to clean out and repair the jail’s old sewer

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-32597343543438195802010-02-23T16:27:00.005-06:002010-02-23T16:33:24.036-06:00

… When firefighters have to cut out a window and a wall from your second-floor apartment to get you to the hospital.Incredibly, that’s what happened to 400-pound Houston woman on Sunday.She fell in her bathroom and broke her leg, but ambulance crews couldn’t get this plus-sized gal out through the doors.So they had to do some major surgery on her apartment so she could go to the hospital for some

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-23482102581655235802010-02-22T16:43:00.004-06:002010-02-22T16:53:15.990-06:00

As the Winter Olympics drag on – I mean continue their exciting run! – everybody seems to be having a dandy time up there in Canada.Except the Canadians.Before the games began, the Canadian Olympic Committee made some very unCanadian boasts. They said they were gonna smoke the rest of the world and win the medal count.They even called the effort “Own the Podium.”Alas, it has turned out more like

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-11209895948349941262010-02-19T23:15:00.004-06:002010-02-19T23:42:49.405-06:00

If you can stand one more twist to Tiger’s tawdry tale, consider this:One of the tramps he cheated with wants him … to apologize to her! And on top of everything, she’s a porn star!It’s true, sports fans.Joslyn James watched Tiger Woods’ confessional video on Friday – with her attorney at an L.A. radio station.That last part is important, because skanky Joslyn wants the apology, as the news story

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-5414235143388098102010-02-18T16:50:00.005-06:002010-02-18T18:56:46.881-06:00

It’s amazing how the world’s richest athlete continues to make stupid decisions that will prolong his misery.Yes, I am talking about none other than Tiger “Share the Love” Woods.The latest twist in Tiger’s tawdry tale will be Friday morning's carefully controlled press conference about his, er, adventures with women who were not his wife.Tiger, ever the control freak, thinks he can still call the

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-46326955277788966292010-02-17T17:21:00.007-06:002010-02-17T18:08:14.965-06:00

Like a candle in the wind, or a fart in a hurricane, the Farouk Shami campaign for governor is fading fast.Five top staff members resigned Wednesday, citing rampant chaos at the campaign HQ.I suspect those were the only Shami staffers who knew Shiite from shinola when it comes to Texas politics.Shami, for those of you who have been locked in your uncle’s closet for the past few months, is a

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-31909407158462664002010-02-16T17:10:00.003-06:002010-02-16T17:17:15.851-06:00

I have never been on the receiving end of a mass shooting. And I hope I never am.But if I do find myself in that unfortunate situation, I won’t be nicey-nice with the deranged shooter/killer.Take that incident at the University of Alabama in Huntsville last Friday, when a truly nutty professor opened up on her colleagues in a faculty meeting.The psycho, Amy Bishop, killed three professors and

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-50826771692629887742010-02-15T15:57:00.004-06:002010-02-15T16:05:32.229-06:00

So what’s the deal on global warming? A month ago, it was a dire threat to Life As We Know It.Now, the same scientists who had been shrieking frantically are saying, “Hey, hold on a minute here. My bad. The earth might even be cooling!”If you’re confused, that’s OK. It’s hard to see how any non-scientist can make sense of this nonsense.It’s not just a cold winter – although that does seem to

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-64931189740812825922010-02-12T20:46:00.003-06:002010-02-12T21:37:09.675-06:00

It’s official. The most romantic word in the world is … “amour!”That would be, of course, the French word for love.Ya gotta hand it to the French. They may not be good at war or world leadership, but they’ve got this love thing nailed. (Not to mention wearing berets and baking long loaves of bread!)Ironically, the least-romantic way of saying "I love you" went to the Japanese for "watakushi-wa

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-62884926492812519882010-02-12T10:03:00.014-06:002010-02-12T10:59:56.474-06:00

When will people learn? Never buy a pig in a poke.Or marry a woman you’ve never seen. The results could be hairy – literally.An Arab ambassador, of all people, learned this lesson the hard way.You see, he courted a woman who always remained hidden behind a veil that covered her face – a niqab, it’s called.But after their expensive marriage in Dubai -- $137,000 for wedding gifts and expenses -- he

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-27448222997407873182010-02-11T10:04:00.003-06:002010-02-11T10:08:59.003-06:00

How cold was it? Well, I’ll tell ya.It was so cold in Washington yesterday that …A senator known for his strong views on the environment told his limo driver, “I don’t care how much gas you use! Warm that damn thing up for 15 minutes before my butt hits the seat or you’ll be busing inmates to the federal prison!”A federal researcher applied for a grant to study whether the true color of snow is

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-70697256564647940322010-02-09T21:31:00.002-06:002010-02-09T21:35:43.741-06:00

Memo to frequent fliers: On that next long trip, don’t forget to bring your wool jammies if you’re flying American Airlines.’Cause if you don’t, they’re gonna charge you eight bucks for a blanket and pillow!It’s true, weary wayfarers. American will now demand that you fork over $8 dollars “for a pillow and blanket in coach class for domestic trips and some international flights longer than two

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-60428114335695340992010-02-08T20:21:00.003-06:002010-02-08T20:25:22.625-06:00

So is Peyton Manning a bad sport for refusing to shake Drew Brees’ hand after the Super Bowl?You betcha, and his tacky behavior tarnishes his carefully crafted image as The Greatest Quarterback Playing the Game Today.Qualifier: If Manning couldn’t find Brees when the playing field turned into a scene resembling the French Quarter at midnight, he gets a pass. (Pun intended.)He doesn’t want to (and

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-30598247862082605672010-02-05T22:13:00.005-06:002010-02-05T22:52:10.864-06:00

Some people are just not meant to live long, uneventful lives.Like the moron in Michigan who strapped a homemade rocket to his backside when he was sledding.The “rocket,” if you can believe it, was an auto muffler filled with gasoline and gunpowder. I kid you not.It is hard to imagine someone this stupid being able to get out of bed in the morning, much less handle more complicated tasks like

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-5600105283466672342010-02-04T20:24:00.005-06:002010-02-04T20:32:10.382-06:00

I just can’t make up my mind about this darned recession.Is it still raging, as proved by Exxon-Mobil’s anemic profits, or does the latest record for an art sale mean happy days are here again?I refer of course – as if you didn’t know – to the recent purchase of Alberto Giacometti's "Walking Man I" statue for a cool $104.3 million.That’s a new world record for a piece of art – but again, you knew

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-49859100107926720842010-02-03T19:11:00.006-06:002010-02-03T19:22:33.012-06:00

I’ve been having a nasty run of bad luck with my cars lately.If this keeps up, my next mode of transportation will need a saddle and bag of oats to get started in the morning.It all started a few weeks ago when my Toyota Camry suddenly started imitating a Formula One race car.I was driving on I-10 one day when I tromped the pedal to pass some old junker. To my horror, the gas pedal stuck and I

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-21355991017257781022010-02-02T19:37:00.009-06:002010-02-02T19:48:14.210-06:00

If you’re still in that dwindling band of Americans pushing for national health care – or at least the president’s version of it – these are tough times.The latest problem? Well, the premier of the Canadian providence of Newfoundland … is coming to the U.S. for his heart surgery!That’s right, reformers! Danny Williams is turning his back on Canada’s heavily regulated system for its

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-26730292035925059092010-02-01T20:26:00.003-06:002010-02-01T20:35:48.783-06:00

Reports of the recession’s end have been greatly exaggerated.Exhibit A would be the shamefully embarrassing disclosure by Exxon-Mobil for 2009.You may find this hard to believe, but the oil giant came out ahead by only … $19.3 billion!I know what you’re thinking. When I saw that lame number, I too thought it had to be a misprint.Sadly, it’s true. That is only half of E-M's 2008 profit.Oh, the

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-80633797687444228472010-01-29T21:03:00.005-06:002010-01-29T22:00:02.953-06:00

Dear John: (irony intended) What were you thinking?Did you ever for a moment actually believe that your (ick) “sex tape” with Rielle Hunter would remain secret?John Edwards is making mop-haired Rod Blagojevich look like Winston Churchill here. Worse, he's making horny Bill Clinton look like the pope.Johnny Boy, you may recall, was the Democrats’ VP nominee in ’04 and a serious candidate for the

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-53116234469459349512010-01-28T21:45:00.004-06:002010-01-28T21:51:05.219-06:00

Have you driven a Ford lately?Apparently, lots of you folks have.The Ford Motor Co. did something that no U.S. automaker has done in a long time.It made a profit last year. A big one. $2.7 billion!And Ford was the only one of the Big Three that didn’t have to beg Uncle Sam for bailout bucks when the recession was cranking up.Yee haw! There may be hope for the U.S. auto industry yet. Or at least a

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-8375572634203045912010-01-27T21:10:00.006-06:002010-01-27T21:20:34.996-06:00

Here is the real State of the Union, the speech that President Obama wanted to give but was talked out of at the last minute.Through my extensive journalistic contacts in Washington, I have been able to obtain a rare transcript of the speech that officially does not exist:“My fellow Americans: Thank you for taking the time to listen to me tonight, but I must warn you. This will not be your

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-27382954988809333582010-01-26T19:28:00.004-06:002010-01-26T19:32:53.493-06:00

Kiefer Sutherland is the latest rich guy to prove the old adage:“A fool and his money are soon parted.”He got taken for $869,000 by a con artist. And the scam is so bad you wonder how anyone could get suckered by it.The scammer convinced Sutherland to give him a truckload of money so he could buy cattle in Mexico and resell them in the states for big bucks.R U kidding?You don’t even have to a

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-44060130019004585842010-01-25T20:38:00.003-06:002010-01-25T20:42:49.083-06:00

It’s happened again.Another pathetic criminal has revealed that this country is losing its edge.In the latest affront, a 20-year-old burglar had to be driven to his target home … by his mommy!That’s right, Mr. and Mrs. America. The little punk didn’t even have enough gumption to find his own ride – or Lord forbid, drive himself!John Dillinger must be rolling over in his grave.What is wrong with

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-82676135808640965112010-01-22T19:40:00.003-06:002010-01-22T19:48:04.384-06:00

This one came across e-mail the other day.You may think it is funny. If you don't, you probably work for the government:HOW GOVERNMENT WORKSOnce upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman's position and hired a person for the job.Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-10479077857491829712010-01-21T19:53:00.004-06:002010-01-21T19:59:36.024-06:00

It’s about time: Air France is going to start charging double fare for “plus-sized” passengers who can’t fit into a single seat.This is good news for everyone who weighs less than 400 pounds.The rest of the copycat airline industry will probably adopt this rule within weeks.When that magic day arrives, your chances of being scrunched between a massive collection of cellulite and the plane’s

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-62638252086873693282010-01-20T20:14:00.007-06:002010-01-20T20:24:18.689-06:00

I’m gonna go waaaay out on a limb here and guess that Tiger Woods is not a happy camper.He’s just been “discovered” again, and like the last time, not in a good way.The celeb Web site radaronline.com says the next issue of – what else? – the National Enquirer will have photos of Tiger at a rehab clinic in Mississippi.Apparently, the rumors are true: The world’s top golfer is being treated for

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-28746055002622185412010-01-19T19:03:00.005-06:002010-01-19T19:09:59.921-06:00

Apparently our long national nightmare will be over soon.No, I’m not talking about the health care debate or the war on terror.I’m talking about the thing that that everyone has been talking about – the Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien clash on NBC.Everyone has been feeling sorry for Conan and making Jay the villain, which is party understandable. Poor Conan is getting moved out of his dream job after just

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-61964797463641990292010-01-18T20:53:00.005-06:002010-01-18T21:01:54.414-06:00

There ought to be a law.A law against pleading guilty in court to get a light sentence ... and then taking it all back once you get the slap on the wrist!That is the scam being pulled by Richard Heene, better known as the father of Balloon Boy.Heene and his ditzy wife faced all kinds of charges after their October stunt, which it turns out was designed to help them snare a reality show gig.In the

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-22803581976335358792010-01-15T20:40:00.004-06:002010-01-15T21:54:10.696-06:00

The scenes in Haiti defy belief. We wonder how we can help these people from our safe homes.Here's a good way:Below is a list of organizations responding to the earthquake and how to contact them. We are running this list on our Web site.The experts say it's probably better to donate to an organization that already has a presence in Haiti instead of a group that has no experience there.As always,

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-84311148221744985392010-01-14T19:24:00.003-06:002010-01-14T19:27:56.606-06:00

What is it about a disaster that bring out the worst in people?People like Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh.The talkin’ televangelist said Haiti’s earthquake happened because when it was still a French colony its leaders “swore a pact to the devil” to get out from “under the heel of the French.”Then he launched into a loopy story about how Haiti got its independence, complete the devil agreeing

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-90313147073017662732010-01-13T19:55:00.004-06:002010-01-14T12:36:28.790-06:00

You gotta hand it to those Wall Street bankers. Hounded by Congress and hated by millions of working stiffs, they are trying to make amends.In fact, a bunch of them apologized Wednesday “for risky behavior that led to the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression.” Here is their official statement:“Dear Suckers:“Our lawyers told us we have to pretend to regret becoming mega-millionaires

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-5486144273192115952010-01-12T19:30:00.002-06:002010-01-12T19:34:11.407-06:00

What a mess. NBC has too many late night comedians and not enough time slots for them.Tsk, tsk. The Peacock Network should adopt the following rotating schedule to bring peace in our time:Monday, Jay Leno at 10:30 p.m. (leading with the “headlines” bit, even though it often includes restaurant menus or product labels), followed by Conan O’Brien at 11:30 (with hot young actresses plugging current

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-23863022414656885732010-01-11T21:17:00.004-06:002010-01-11T21:26:29.147-06:00

So Big Mac has come clean. Sort of.Former home-run king Mark McGwire has admitted using steroids and human growth hormone when he was hitting all those moonshots.Duh.This one was as obvious as the snow on the North Pole.Only the terminally stupid could be surprised by this “confession.”Over the years, tons of evidence have emerged to show that McGwire and many other sluggers were heavily juiced

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-37913940296005532082010-01-08T10:47:00.002-06:002010-01-08T10:51:37.445-06:00

Yeah, yeah, I know it didn't turn out as I predicted Thursday night at the Rose Bowl.That's tough. But ...Even getting past the loss of our QB in the opening minutes, the game still could have been won if Texas receivers had caught a few more passes (like that one in the end zone in the first half!) and better play-calling from the upstairs booth (like fooling around at the end of the first half

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-42208092926699600552010-01-07T18:33:00.002-06:002010-01-07T18:36:23.991-06:00

The so-called experts made 'Bama 4-point favorites in Thursday night's game against our Horns.Shows what they know, which is not much.The boys in Burnt Orange will do what they did in '05 -- win a national championship by upsetting the so-called favorites.Final score: Texas 33, Alabama 24. You read it here first.

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-22023168503351601942010-01-06T22:04:00.004-06:002010-01-06T22:11:31.755-06:00

Maria Mosterd is miffed.A Dutch court just rejected her lawsuit against her former high school. She says it didn’t do enough to stop her from becoming a prostitute.No, that is not a misprint.Mixed-up Maria says the real cause of her unhappy career choice is that many pimps in the Netherlands hang around schools and look for vulnerable girls like her to exploit.Maria’s mom even said, “This happens

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-86081586818203540852010-01-05T20:44:00.003-06:002010-01-05T20:50:11.223-06:00

The feds have finally figured out that we were reeaally lucky on Christmas Day, when an al Qaida stooge tried to blow an airliner out of the sky.And now they are trying to figure out how to stop the next attack -- and of course there will be a next attack.The prez himself said, said, “We have to do better and we will do better and we have to do it quickly.”So as the brain trust at Homeland

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-6662817711542653042010-01-04T13:12:00.003-06:002010-01-04T15:49:32.298-06:00

The stay-cation is over, and I am ready to charge into this new year.But first I have one burning question:Will we call the new year "two thousand and ten" or "twenty ten"?Just wondering.

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-8590573704584926422009-12-24T17:14:00.002-06:002009-12-24T17:19:25.197-06:00

It's time for one last "stay-cation" for '09.I hope you had a blessed Christmas and will have a great new year. See you on Jan. 4Until then, eat at least five servings of fruits or vegetables per day, perform at least 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise each day and floss rigorously every night. And drink plenty of water.Unless you don't want to.

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-36320085290462764572009-12-23T19:57:00.002-06:002009-12-23T20:00:00.991-06:00

It’s one thing to be persistent. No one likes a quitter.But sometimes, you gotta face facts and throw in the towel. Or in the case of Gavle, Sweden, throw in the goat.In that Swedish town, a giant straw goat is built each year as a Christmas tradition.Don’t ask me why. Hey, we have some strange Christmas traditions too – like big discounts on large-screen TVs.But for 24 times since the first

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-28666119053508367652009-12-22T19:14:00.004-06:002009-12-22T19:26:46.328-06:00

In this space yesterday, a wise scholar opined eloquently about the AP’s choice for Male Athlete of the Year.OK, it was me and I was just blogging, but the AP has done it again. It’s made a shaky choice for Female Athlete of the Year.This time, the brain trust at the Associated Press chose Serena Williams as the leading lady of sports.In terms of her accomplishments, she deserved it. Serena won

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-51634912367980891142009-12-21T19:16:00.005-06:002009-12-21T20:42:01.585-06:00

It’s been a bad year for awards. Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize without doing anything to deserve it. Ditto for Time naming Fed chief Ben Bernanke as Person of the Year.And now a race-car driver has been named Male Athlete of the Year by the Associated Press.Say it ain’t so, somebody.Granted, Jimmie Johnson is a great race-car driver. He runs circles around the competition.OK, I guess all NASCAR

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38038461.post-35793982881586431652009-12-18T21:50:00.003-06:002009-12-18T22:07:25.967-06:00

When Tigergate broke, all the taking heads assured us it wouldn't affect Tiger Woods' "marketability" or his "brand."That was a dozen bimbos ago.This thing is getting raunchier than a bachelor party at a biker bar.Every day seems to bring another trashy gal, another sordid twist, another tease about nude photos of Tiger or romps in his own home or God knows what.If a fourth of this stuff turns

Thomas Taschingerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02085648806142594183noreply@blogger.com3